With all the rumors surrounding the budget crisis everyone is now fearful of their job. My lead Campus Supervisor (who I can not live without!) walked in my office this morning and handed me a piece of paper with a "proposal for staffing reassignments." The trusty rumor mill had our security crew expecting to be next on the chopping block and she wanted to provide me with a real vision of life without them:
Staffing Reassignments to deal with the loss of Campus Supervisors :
OCS (On Campus Suspension) - Use teachers on a rotating schedule during their prep periods. Of course the contract will have to be re-negotiated, but perhaps the increase in salary benefits will only be a few thousand more than Campus Supervisors are paid by the hour!
Gates -Maintenance will need to lock all gates once school starts and open them at the end of the day, including the bike rack. They will take calls every period for kids leaving school for various reasons to lock and unlock. Hopefully the potties will not overflow or kids do not get sick in classrooms during this time!
7 & 30 Gates - Leave side gates closed all day – send all 2800 students to front to enter or exit campus through the administration building- Admin will need to rotate 2 hour shifts.
Front gate - Have admin do another 2 hour shift to handle everyone coming or going from the school including yellow passes, lunch passes, free 5 & 6 stickers, Work 5 & 6 stickers, sports passes, deliveries, and all the adults that want to come on campus for one reason or another. Not sure what will happen to kids who fight, take drugs, etc, but we will save money.
Front Desk - We will need to require parents to go on campus and retrieve their students from class or where ever they may be (wrestling room, baseball field, P.E. etc.). They will probably want to use the golf cart so you better raise the liability insurance.
Drop Offs - Due to the lack of staffing we will be unable to except the 50 thousand items a day that our darling children are unable to survive the day with out.
Lunch Supervision - Say a Prayer????
Secretaries - Will have to fetch students for their V.P.’s and do the locker searches. They will also need to escort them down to OCS. When a teacher needs a student removed from their classroom the secretary must retrieve them. You better sign them up for yoga classes because they are not accustomed to dealing with the verbal abuse along the way.
Games - Coaches must sell and take tickets – no coverage inside.
Traffic - Pam (after my fender-bender this week... yeah right!)
Escorts - The Administrator who assigns the non-sense
Medical - Nurses office will need to respond to any calls of injury or illness with the cart. Staff will have to prioritize importance such as head injury in Room 2-10 vs weighing wrestlers for meet.
911 Calls - The Principal will need to go out in the street and wave down the Emergency personnel, and AP's can wait on the southeast corner of the building to escort them to the nurse’s office.
Bathrooms - Bathrooms will remain closed except during passing periods when the counselors will monitor them.
Lockers - Forgot your key? Sorry!
ASD (After School Detentions) - Teachers must do their own.
Football Security - Hire an additional 10 – 12 more security people at triple the rate we work an hour. Or... perhaps negotiate with a local gang to monitor athletic events, we could barter with confiscated drugs and save a few bucks.
I prepared my resignation letter the same day!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
1-27-09 -- How Many Chances?
How many chances do you give a drug dealer? None? One? Two? What if they are only in 9th grade? What if they only sold to one person? What if they have a supportive family that promise to help them change? Should you kick them out of school? Should you lock them up? Should you just believe that they are young and they can change? What message will your discipline send to their friends and other who contemplate the same offense?
Tonight I am angry. I am mad. I am frustrated. At this moment I feel that we are fighting a losing battle that is doomed to get worse and we are helpless to make change. Tonight we took two students before the School Board who both were selling drugs to their peers. Two kids with the same offenses but with very different situations... or are they?
Before the holidays a young man walked into my colleagues office and said, Tio has drugs in his pocket today. He followed the statement with, "how much is the reward from the police department? My colleague was already late for a meeting so I agreed to search Tio. When I brought him into my office he immediately confessed he had drugs and handed to me from his pocket. He stated that he had gotten it for a friend. I also noticed he had $75 in his wallet. I looked up at him and asked, "How long have you been selling drugs on campus"? He replied. "Only a couple days." Now under California law selling drugs is against the law and ground for an expulsion. He was cited by the police department and we began the paper trail for the expulsion hearing.
Two doors down from my office another colleague had just gotten information that Stewart had a strong odor of marijuana. She had escorted him to the office and after searching found pot hidden in his shoe. When she asked him where he got it, after changing his story a number of times he finally said, "I found it on the way to school." (Yeah Right!) While they were discussing the issue, his phone buzzed with a text message from a couple of non students asking if he would walk over to the fence and sell them the drugs. He too was informed that he was suspended pending an expulsion hearing.
Tonight was the big night, both boys had to face the music and testify to the School Board for their actions. Now to most folks these case are no brainers... give them the boot! But to the good folks to sit on the School Board, know they must carefully navigate this insanity we call a legal system and arrive at a decision that is not only good for the student, but the safety of the school as well as legally compliant.
For the most part I have agreed with the current Board's decisions as I understand they are extremely limited in their jurisdiction. For instance, the most a kid can be expelled is for only one year. Then... the district must provide an alternative placement such as a county school that has transportation to and from the site which happens to be about 30 miles from our city. And, in California there is always a stipulation that the kid must get some sort of counseling (we really like the rehab stuff here) then reappear to the Board at the end of the term for a re admittance hearing.
Typically this means that if a kid is expelled, he is out of school for about a month pending the hearing... during that time the school is responsible for providing homework for Little Johnny Delinquent. If he/she is expelled, it is usually for only one semester and often the expulsion is suspended so basically the kid only misses a month of school while he/she is allowed to do all their make up work. Now granted the kid is told that if they have any additional infractions the expulsion will be back in effect. This process creates a "revolving door" for those who are repeat offenders. Many times school officials do not recommend disciplinary issues for expulsion, because there is simply no teeth involved.
In some states when kids are expelled the only option they have is to return to a continuation school, but not here. In as little as one month a drug dealer can return to a comprehensive school campus to covertly resume their source of income. This was the case with both Tio and Stewart tonight. Although our Board attempted to instruct the parents that they could not return to our school, Stewart's family kept pressing the issue and now plan to return to our school at the end of the year. What has happened to our society? I sit and shake my head in wonder of the absolute nonsense that we are forced to tolerate.
I am dedicated to my battle field, but I must admit it is quite demoralizing when you are shooting with rubber bullets.
Tonight I am angry. I am mad. I am frustrated. At this moment I feel that we are fighting a losing battle that is doomed to get worse and we are helpless to make change. Tonight we took two students before the School Board who both were selling drugs to their peers. Two kids with the same offenses but with very different situations... or are they?
Before the holidays a young man walked into my colleagues office and said, Tio has drugs in his pocket today. He followed the statement with, "how much is the reward from the police department? My colleague was already late for a meeting so I agreed to search Tio. When I brought him into my office he immediately confessed he had drugs and handed to me from his pocket. He stated that he had gotten it for a friend. I also noticed he had $75 in his wallet. I looked up at him and asked, "How long have you been selling drugs on campus"? He replied. "Only a couple days." Now under California law selling drugs is against the law and ground for an expulsion. He was cited by the police department and we began the paper trail for the expulsion hearing.
Two doors down from my office another colleague had just gotten information that Stewart had a strong odor of marijuana. She had escorted him to the office and after searching found pot hidden in his shoe. When she asked him where he got it, after changing his story a number of times he finally said, "I found it on the way to school." (Yeah Right!) While they were discussing the issue, his phone buzzed with a text message from a couple of non students asking if he would walk over to the fence and sell them the drugs. He too was informed that he was suspended pending an expulsion hearing.
Tonight was the big night, both boys had to face the music and testify to the School Board for their actions. Now to most folks these case are no brainers... give them the boot! But to the good folks to sit on the School Board, know they must carefully navigate this insanity we call a legal system and arrive at a decision that is not only good for the student, but the safety of the school as well as legally compliant.
For the most part I have agreed with the current Board's decisions as I understand they are extremely limited in their jurisdiction. For instance, the most a kid can be expelled is for only one year. Then... the district must provide an alternative placement such as a county school that has transportation to and from the site which happens to be about 30 miles from our city. And, in California there is always a stipulation that the kid must get some sort of counseling (we really like the rehab stuff here) then reappear to the Board at the end of the term for a re admittance hearing.
Typically this means that if a kid is expelled, he is out of school for about a month pending the hearing... during that time the school is responsible for providing homework for Little Johnny Delinquent. If he/she is expelled, it is usually for only one semester and often the expulsion is suspended so basically the kid only misses a month of school while he/she is allowed to do all their make up work. Now granted the kid is told that if they have any additional infractions the expulsion will be back in effect. This process creates a "revolving door" for those who are repeat offenders. Many times school officials do not recommend disciplinary issues for expulsion, because there is simply no teeth involved.
In some states when kids are expelled the only option they have is to return to a continuation school, but not here. In as little as one month a drug dealer can return to a comprehensive school campus to covertly resume their source of income. This was the case with both Tio and Stewart tonight. Although our Board attempted to instruct the parents that they could not return to our school, Stewart's family kept pressing the issue and now plan to return to our school at the end of the year. What has happened to our society? I sit and shake my head in wonder of the absolute nonsense that we are forced to tolerate.
I am dedicated to my battle field, but I must admit it is quite demoralizing when you are shooting with rubber bullets.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
1-23-09 - So What Do We Do Now?
Part of the job as a high school administrator is to be able to think quickly on one's feet and make decisions that will impact lives hopefully for the better. For eight years I have prided myself in my ability to do this fairly well. When my colleague walked into my office with the following question, all my arrogance flew right out the door.
She said, "I have a student in my office who is 16 years old, she is a young mother, does not speak a word of English was dumped here by the baby's father and is now living in a group home and oh yeah... she only has a 4th grade education from Mexico. How do I schedule her classes????"
OK... this was a new one for me. I sat in a room full of professionals, two assistant principals, the school nurse and a counselor and none of us could produce a workable answer. After a brief moment of chanting "INS" I came to my senses and realized we were bound by law to provide this young lady an education.
Now before you label me cold-hearted keep in mind that California schools are now facing the worst budget crisis in decades. Our district alone faces 15 million dollars in cuts if the trained monkeys we elected to lead this state do not produce a budget, which is now months overdue. In order to meet payroll, school districts were forced to submit "bare bones" budgets for approval so that they can borrow to simply meet payroll... forget about operating expenses or purchasing expensive textbooks we are mandated to update. This week I watched my principal hand out 22 pink slips to veteran teachers based upon whether they were credentialed to teach non-English speakers. Other than the now diagnosed one, this dilemma produced a knot in my stomach so big it produced a lump in my throat.
The LA Times ran an article this morning that the trained monkeys have are now producing a "bail out plan" to the tune of 11 million dollars to present to the federal government. Heck, if the bankers and auto makers can sell their deal in order to give million dollar bonuses to their CEOs surely the poor children of California are entitled to be bailed out too??? Right??
So... what do we do with our young mother? The minor parent program at the continuation school refused to take her because she does not speak enough English, the adult education program refused to take her because she is not old enough... so this poor soul is left with her 4th grade education to try to muddle through the murky waters of the comprehensive high school.
We finally opted to place her in a two-hour block of English with other students learning English and pay for a home teacher for the remaining courses. My only prayer is that after we manage to educate those who do not have to prove their citizenship that we can afford to pay the electric bill so they can actually see to read their newly adopted textbooks that we had to borrow money to purchase and we have enough paper to print the IOUs to pay their teachers who had to obtain special credentials to teach them.
She said, "I have a student in my office who is 16 years old, she is a young mother, does not speak a word of English was dumped here by the baby's father and is now living in a group home and oh yeah... she only has a 4th grade education from Mexico. How do I schedule her classes????"
OK... this was a new one for me. I sat in a room full of professionals, two assistant principals, the school nurse and a counselor and none of us could produce a workable answer. After a brief moment of chanting "INS" I came to my senses and realized we were bound by law to provide this young lady an education.
Now before you label me cold-hearted keep in mind that California schools are now facing the worst budget crisis in decades. Our district alone faces 15 million dollars in cuts if the trained monkeys we elected to lead this state do not produce a budget, which is now months overdue. In order to meet payroll, school districts were forced to submit "bare bones" budgets for approval so that they can borrow to simply meet payroll... forget about operating expenses or purchasing expensive textbooks we are mandated to update. This week I watched my principal hand out 22 pink slips to veteran teachers based upon whether they were credentialed to teach non-English speakers. Other than the now diagnosed one, this dilemma produced a knot in my stomach so big it produced a lump in my throat.
The LA Times ran an article this morning that the trained monkeys have are now producing a "bail out plan" to the tune of 11 million dollars to present to the federal government. Heck, if the bankers and auto makers can sell their deal in order to give million dollar bonuses to their CEOs surely the poor children of California are entitled to be bailed out too??? Right??
So... what do we do with our young mother? The minor parent program at the continuation school refused to take her because she does not speak enough English, the adult education program refused to take her because she is not old enough... so this poor soul is left with her 4th grade education to try to muddle through the murky waters of the comprehensive high school.
We finally opted to place her in a two-hour block of English with other students learning English and pay for a home teacher for the remaining courses. My only prayer is that after we manage to educate those who do not have to prove their citizenship that we can afford to pay the electric bill so they can actually see to read their newly adopted textbooks that we had to borrow money to purchase and we have enough paper to print the IOUs to pay their teachers who had to obtain special credentials to teach them.
Friday, January 9, 2009
1-9-09 - Belly Aching
One of the first eating establishments I was introduced to in the Golden State was a restaurant named, Soup Plantation. I remember walking in, looked to the left and I saw a nice array of soups, then to the right and noticed a spread that would make Bugs Bunny proud. I immediately turned to my colleagues and said without hesitation... where's the food? You see in the South soups and salads are appetizers you eat before the main course, AKA... MEAT! My mother raised a carnivore and I take much pride in saying I have never seen a "Happy Cow" in Texas! Heck, why should they be happy... they know it is only a matter of time before they end up marinated with Billy Bob's rich and tangy barbecue sauce.
For forty-something years I have prided myself as a "meat-eater." I would laugh loudly at all my California friends (both male and female) who ordered salads for lunch while I enjoyed my favorite critters sandwiched between two slices of bread! This week... the "critters" got their revenge! For about a week I had an odd feeling in my stomach so I made an appointment with my doctor for Tuesday morning expecting a lecture about my eating habits and a couple pills. Monday afternoon my boss walked into my office, saw the look on my face and declared, "Go to the emergency room now"!!!
As you can imagine I am not the world's best patient! After all I have places to go, people to see and things to do! Once again I thought I would get some blood drawn and they would send me on the way. Oh no, next thing I knew, I was hooked up to an IV and was forced to drink this concoction that tasted like someone had gone to the utility closet and mixed every cleaning agent there! I laughed at the fella who left me two lollipops thinking... do I look 4 years old? After one sip of this mess I KNEW WHY!!! I thought I would blow bubbles out my nose if I breathed too hard. I looked desperately for a place to dump the junk... but no luck!
After hours of tests, the ER doctor came in and told me what I already knew... I don't know what is wrong with you! The best he could surmise was somewhere around the first bend of my large intestine laid the results of two episodes of the stomach flu, screaming parents, pot-smoking kids and an entire herd of unhappy cows! And... by the way, your potassium was depleted! As I lay in that awful hospital bed I thought to myself, "Pam you are not 20 years old anymore, you need to take better care of yourself." " No longer can you live somewhere between Jack in the Box and Carl's Jr."!
Now that I had successfully scared everyone in the office, I returned to work the following day with the same sharp pain in my left side. And... for some reason all the imps running around knew this because I ended up suspending six kids! Evidently they had way to much time on their hands during the holidays, because they wanted to roll around on the ground like a bunch of chimps during lunch. "Some dude said something to my friend's girlfriend, and you just don't mess with my friends!" Honestly I felt so bad I don't remember all the details, but I do remember one kid using the the word "hell." I spun around in my office doorway and yelled, "Son, I don't want to hear that word in this office unless you are talking about a geographical location... and this isn't church"!!!! I looked up to see smirks on everyone's faces, then looked down to see a puzzled look on the kid... I think he was still trying to figure out what the word, "geographical" meant.
I had just completed the paperwork for the four kids associated with Hellboy's rumble, when Debbie walked into my office. A teacher had called with a tip that a drug deal had just happened... in her classroom. I immediately grabbed one of counselors (who happened to have previously employed by the Juvenile Youth Authority) and escorted the participants to the office. Immediately my colleague found the pot in one of the young men's shoe... the "seller" was in my office and started crying that "he didn't do it." Now I had three witness statements indicating otherwise, so I knew he was lying to me. The problem was ... he didn't have any money on him!
Eventually the young man who purchased the pot informed us that he did not have time to pay the guy before we walked into the room. Given poor track records with the California courts we opted to only request the young man with the pot in his possession be cited by the police. I did suspend the seller based on the statements of other students.
Now my stomach was killing me and all I wanted was some peace... I didn't get it! First the seller's father wanted to argue his son's point... later his mother came in and demanded that we "do something" about all the drug dealers on campus... uh, I thought that is what I just did with her son?!!! Finally they left and I walked into the Nurse's office to weigh in for our campus version of "The Biggest Loser" and let the School Nurse poke tummy friendly herbs down my throat. Now feeling even more frustrated, after realizing just how much weight I had gained, I just wanted to go home! As I walked out of the office I turned to our lead campus supervisor and said... I am going home to make vegetable soup, I have handled all the "belly-aching" I can deal with for one day!!
For forty-something years I have prided myself as a "meat-eater." I would laugh loudly at all my California friends (both male and female) who ordered salads for lunch while I enjoyed my favorite critters sandwiched between two slices of bread! This week... the "critters" got their revenge! For about a week I had an odd feeling in my stomach so I made an appointment with my doctor for Tuesday morning expecting a lecture about my eating habits and a couple pills. Monday afternoon my boss walked into my office, saw the look on my face and declared, "Go to the emergency room now"!!!
As you can imagine I am not the world's best patient! After all I have places to go, people to see and things to do! Once again I thought I would get some blood drawn and they would send me on the way. Oh no, next thing I knew, I was hooked up to an IV and was forced to drink this concoction that tasted like someone had gone to the utility closet and mixed every cleaning agent there! I laughed at the fella who left me two lollipops thinking... do I look 4 years old? After one sip of this mess I KNEW WHY!!! I thought I would blow bubbles out my nose if I breathed too hard. I looked desperately for a place to dump the junk... but no luck!
After hours of tests, the ER doctor came in and told me what I already knew... I don't know what is wrong with you! The best he could surmise was somewhere around the first bend of my large intestine laid the results of two episodes of the stomach flu, screaming parents, pot-smoking kids and an entire herd of unhappy cows! And... by the way, your potassium was depleted! As I lay in that awful hospital bed I thought to myself, "Pam you are not 20 years old anymore, you need to take better care of yourself." " No longer can you live somewhere between Jack in the Box and Carl's Jr."!
Now that I had successfully scared everyone in the office, I returned to work the following day with the same sharp pain in my left side. And... for some reason all the imps running around knew this because I ended up suspending six kids! Evidently they had way to much time on their hands during the holidays, because they wanted to roll around on the ground like a bunch of chimps during lunch. "Some dude said something to my friend's girlfriend, and you just don't mess with my friends!" Honestly I felt so bad I don't remember all the details, but I do remember one kid using the the word "hell." I spun around in my office doorway and yelled, "Son, I don't want to hear that word in this office unless you are talking about a geographical location... and this isn't church"!!!! I looked up to see smirks on everyone's faces, then looked down to see a puzzled look on the kid... I think he was still trying to figure out what the word, "geographical" meant.
I had just completed the paperwork for the four kids associated with Hellboy's rumble, when Debbie walked into my office. A teacher had called with a tip that a drug deal had just happened... in her classroom. I immediately grabbed one of counselors (who happened to have previously employed by the Juvenile Youth Authority) and escorted the participants to the office. Immediately my colleague found the pot in one of the young men's shoe... the "seller" was in my office and started crying that "he didn't do it." Now I had three witness statements indicating otherwise, so I knew he was lying to me. The problem was ... he didn't have any money on him!
Eventually the young man who purchased the pot informed us that he did not have time to pay the guy before we walked into the room. Given poor track records with the California courts we opted to only request the young man with the pot in his possession be cited by the police. I did suspend the seller based on the statements of other students.
Now my stomach was killing me and all I wanted was some peace... I didn't get it! First the seller's father wanted to argue his son's point... later his mother came in and demanded that we "do something" about all the drug dealers on campus... uh, I thought that is what I just did with her son?!!! Finally they left and I walked into the Nurse's office to weigh in for our campus version of "The Biggest Loser" and let the School Nurse poke tummy friendly herbs down my throat. Now feeling even more frustrated, after realizing just how much weight I had gained, I just wanted to go home! As I walked out of the office I turned to our lead campus supervisor and said... I am going home to make vegetable soup, I have handled all the "belly-aching" I can deal with for one day!!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
1-4-09 - Home from the Holidays
Happy New Year 2009! It seems impossible that I haven't blogged since October, but since Jawaha said it in his sermon, it must be true! The last few months have been a blur of holiday concerts, plays, parties, staff breakfasts and ornery children who obviously forgot that Santa makes a list. I would have loved to peek in their windows to see surprised looks on their bright shiny faces as they unwrapped coal (or switches) from the old guy in the sleigh! Ok... I can't be that lucky, but I would actually pay to have three ghosts visit a few of them for a quick wake-up call! Personally, I think the fat man in the red suit is shirking his duties, if he really had a naughty list I would have far less traffic in the discipline office... for the month of December anyway!
I began my long journey home on December 20, following truancy hearings after school on the 19th (the last day before break!) Someone was serious about punishing those truants (and the rest of us) when they made that schedule! After a quick dash to Central California after the hearings I crashed for a few hours, got up packed the presents and puppies and settled into my long drive to my parents house. This yearly journey takes me three days via Tucson, Midland/Odessa, then finally to Ashdown, Arkansas which is about 19 miles north of Texarkana, TX... if you saw the movie, Smokey and the Bandit.
I was ever so proud that I didn't destroy (via backing over) any luggage this year, and I didn't catch the stomach flu until I actually got there! I will spare you these details! My mother had the house decorated in her regular "winter wonderful" fashion with snowmen at ever turn... most of them singing and shaking their behinds to Christmas music. I found Dad in his chair watching his normal line up of Shootem' Up Westerns with a football game or two scheduled into the mix, Mom prepared my favorite smoked ham... and all was good. It is comforting after all these years, to walk back into my parents door and seemingly find them the exact way you left them. It is a special feeling to walk into church and know that hugs are waiting just beyond the sanctuary doors and that you will soon feast on a sermon that will challenge you to return to battle with a new zeal for the Purpose. I wish all children had this privilege during the holidays.
My mother was especially anxious for me to open one gift before Christmas. My Dad's family (all 27 of us) gather on Christmas Eve for a holiday reunion. To my demise, when Mom wants me to open a present BEFORE the event it usually contains some shirt that blinks, a stupid Santa hat or lest I forget the year I opened the Grinch t-shirt she demanded I wear because of my lousy attitude that year. So I took a deep breath and took the gift, I knew this would take a while with all the tape applied. Good stock tip... 3M during the holidays, my mother causes a surge in profits by herself! To my surprise it didn't sing, dance or shake it's butt... it was a pocket size HD Video Camera. I had more fun the next few days with that silly thing... makes for good blackmail material for Cousin Stinkerbelle too!
About eight years ago I left my heart in suburban Dallas, TX. There are just special connections between folks who started teaching together. A trip home would not be complete without a visit with people I still consider my best friends. These visits are NEVER long enough and I leave with a sick feeling in my stomach (not stomach flu previously mentioned) that I didn't get enough time with those I love. Stacey and I were called Peanut Butter and Jelly when we started teaching, because if you saw one of us, the other wasn't far behind. Stacey was certainly "Jelly" because she is the sweetest. Her students adore her, even to the point of naming her Homecoming Queen this year!
Cathy, I met in the parking lot on my way in the door the first day of school. Immediately I knew this was someone I wanted to always keep close. Cathy is a straight-shooter and will lovingly grab you by the nap of the neck before you run into a brick wall. My only life-time attempt to workout in the mornings was with Cathy when I lived in Dallas... because she told me that we needed to do it! The depth of our friendship got me up!
Beautiful not only on the outside, Kris has an inside to match. When you want someone to cry with you, Kris is always willing to walk the long mile with you. She is now a Counselor and lucky are the kids that cross her path. Her quirky sense of humor always amazes me... I know immediately that cards and notes are from her heart.
Tad is a true "blue" friend in every sense. He has overcome tremendous difficulties with health and his mere "being" is an inspiration to all who know him. I have watched him build his French program beyond anyone's expectation and reaffirm to many kids that school can be fun! He is the proud husband of an incredible wife, Steffi , who easily joined our clan and a beautiful newborn, Beau.
I can easily dodge the question of "returning to Texas" from anyone except from my buddy, Keith. Keith is the type of man that every mother wants her daughter to marry... the embodiment of "John Wayne" values. Many of teenage girl has swooned over "Coach Flowers" who I loving refer to as my buddy, "Stud Muffin." Just five minutes with this man and you are reminded of the good that is still in this world and you have value in it. Keith stole the heart of a former Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader and they have a beautiful baby, Kolton.
Although I have no children, I consider myself, "Aunt Pam," to their children... Molly, DJ, Brad, Amanda, Corey, Hanna, Maddie, Allie, Beau, and Kolton. It is sad that time and miles separate us, but is is comforting to know that at any given moment any of these folks will climb in the trench with you and help you with any of life's battles. It is my prayer that they feel the same about me. As our nation enters into a time of economic and political instability I suggest that we all keep those who are dear close to us, to walk along bumpy roads and to hold us up in the times that we feel like sitting down. Teaching our children that friendship is life's greatest gift far beyond the worth of X-boxes and Wiis.
I wish everyone who reads my "nonsense" a very blessed New Year and I promise to share more adventures with "the kids" in the days to follow...
I began my long journey home on December 20, following truancy hearings after school on the 19th (the last day before break!) Someone was serious about punishing those truants (and the rest of us) when they made that schedule! After a quick dash to Central California after the hearings I crashed for a few hours, got up packed the presents and puppies and settled into my long drive to my parents house. This yearly journey takes me three days via Tucson, Midland/Odessa, then finally to Ashdown, Arkansas which is about 19 miles north of Texarkana, TX... if you saw the movie, Smokey and the Bandit.
I was ever so proud that I didn't destroy (via backing over) any luggage this year, and I didn't catch the stomach flu until I actually got there! I will spare you these details! My mother had the house decorated in her regular "winter wonderful" fashion with snowmen at ever turn... most of them singing and shaking their behinds to Christmas music. I found Dad in his chair watching his normal line up of Shootem' Up Westerns with a football game or two scheduled into the mix, Mom prepared my favorite smoked ham... and all was good. It is comforting after all these years, to walk back into my parents door and seemingly find them the exact way you left them. It is a special feeling to walk into church and know that hugs are waiting just beyond the sanctuary doors and that you will soon feast on a sermon that will challenge you to return to battle with a new zeal for the Purpose. I wish all children had this privilege during the holidays.
My mother was especially anxious for me to open one gift before Christmas. My Dad's family (all 27 of us) gather on Christmas Eve for a holiday reunion. To my demise, when Mom wants me to open a present BEFORE the event it usually contains some shirt that blinks, a stupid Santa hat or lest I forget the year I opened the Grinch t-shirt she demanded I wear because of my lousy attitude that year. So I took a deep breath and took the gift, I knew this would take a while with all the tape applied. Good stock tip... 3M during the holidays, my mother causes a surge in profits by herself! To my surprise it didn't sing, dance or shake it's butt... it was a pocket size HD Video Camera. I had more fun the next few days with that silly thing... makes for good blackmail material for Cousin Stinkerbelle too!
About eight years ago I left my heart in suburban Dallas, TX. There are just special connections between folks who started teaching together. A trip home would not be complete without a visit with people I still consider my best friends. These visits are NEVER long enough and I leave with a sick feeling in my stomach (not stomach flu previously mentioned) that I didn't get enough time with those I love. Stacey and I were called Peanut Butter and Jelly when we started teaching, because if you saw one of us, the other wasn't far behind. Stacey was certainly "Jelly" because she is the sweetest. Her students adore her, even to the point of naming her Homecoming Queen this year!
Cathy, I met in the parking lot on my way in the door the first day of school. Immediately I knew this was someone I wanted to always keep close. Cathy is a straight-shooter and will lovingly grab you by the nap of the neck before you run into a brick wall. My only life-time attempt to workout in the mornings was with Cathy when I lived in Dallas... because she told me that we needed to do it! The depth of our friendship got me up!
Beautiful not only on the outside, Kris has an inside to match. When you want someone to cry with you, Kris is always willing to walk the long mile with you. She is now a Counselor and lucky are the kids that cross her path. Her quirky sense of humor always amazes me... I know immediately that cards and notes are from her heart.
Tad is a true "blue" friend in every sense. He has overcome tremendous difficulties with health and his mere "being" is an inspiration to all who know him. I have watched him build his French program beyond anyone's expectation and reaffirm to many kids that school can be fun! He is the proud husband of an incredible wife, Steffi , who easily joined our clan and a beautiful newborn, Beau.
I can easily dodge the question of "returning to Texas" from anyone except from my buddy, Keith. Keith is the type of man that every mother wants her daughter to marry... the embodiment of "John Wayne" values. Many of teenage girl has swooned over "Coach Flowers" who I loving refer to as my buddy, "Stud Muffin." Just five minutes with this man and you are reminded of the good that is still in this world and you have value in it. Keith stole the heart of a former Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader and they have a beautiful baby, Kolton.
Although I have no children, I consider myself, "Aunt Pam," to their children... Molly, DJ, Brad, Amanda, Corey, Hanna, Maddie, Allie, Beau, and Kolton. It is sad that time and miles separate us, but is is comforting to know that at any given moment any of these folks will climb in the trench with you and help you with any of life's battles. It is my prayer that they feel the same about me. As our nation enters into a time of economic and political instability I suggest that we all keep those who are dear close to us, to walk along bumpy roads and to hold us up in the times that we feel like sitting down. Teaching our children that friendship is life's greatest gift far beyond the worth of X-boxes and Wiis.
I wish everyone who reads my "nonsense" a very blessed New Year and I promise to share more adventures with "the kids" in the days to follow...
Friday, October 31, 2008
10-30-08 - Tough Love vs. Spanking
Tough Love vs. Spanking - Good Argument Most of America 's populace think it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of 'those moments.'One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk. Some say it's the vibration from the car, others say it's the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc.Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together. I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.
Sincerely,Your Friend
I think this will work with grandchildren, nieces, and nephews as well.
Author Unknown
Sincerely,Your Friend
I think this will work with grandchildren, nieces, and nephews as well.
Author Unknown
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
10-21-08 - The Letter of the Law
I rushed out the door, slammed the car door shut, dodged the trash bins carefully arranged on the curb, laid my cell phone on my lap and hit the "speaker phone" button lest I get ticketed by some over zealous cop. On the other end of the phone I heard a comforting voice, Debbie had returned to work and hopefully stability would return to my professional life. In my best Elmer Fudd impression I rattled, "7:40 meeting, I'm late, don't know why meeting." Having eight years experience of understanding my morning gibberish, she replied, "I don't have a contract for a return from suspension, I will check your master calendar to see who you are supposed to meet and hold them until you get here.
I finally walked in the building greeted by Deb who asked are you sure you aren't supposed to meet with counselor and student? I can find no scheduled meeting this morning. I took a deep breath, and thought ahh-- crisis averted. (or so I thought!) About 9:00 a.m. one of our counselors walked in my office, he told me that the meeting I had on the calendar was actually rescheduled for 3:00 pm with a student, angry parent and teacher. The Cliff Note version of the story is the student had missed several days at the beginning of the year for an out of town bereavement and a couple weeks ago he had missed another day because he was staying with friends while his parents were out of town and got locked out of the house. His teacher refused for him to make up missed quiz because of the absences.
I checked the attendance data base, his mother had cleared the absence per personal business in the appropriate amount of time. I scratched my head and thought I should email the teacher. Surely there was more to the story, we have an awesome staff and I have never dealt with a teacher unwilling to help a child in a awkward position. I mean after all, he wasn't hanging out in the wash smoking dope, this situation was truly out of his control.
I emailed the teacher asking for clarification of the problem lest I embarrass us both in the meeting. The only response I received was "He has already missed seven days." OK... so what bearing does this have on this situation? Shortly after she appeared in my door stating, "we have a policy and I intend to follow it." I looked up now angry, and said "This is the first time in my career I do not think I can support a teacher in a meeting." She huffed! "Well, if I am not getting supported by administration, I can't attend the meeting this afternoon." I shook my head, "I am glad that when I am on the freeway and I glad the police don't enforce the letter of the law"! She stomped out. I told her she could speak to the Principal about attending the meeting.
I have always supported teachers in meetings... we may have a heart to heart afterwards, but this time was different. I could not in good conscious tell this parent that her child did something wrong. We have always prized our school as "kid friendly" and for some reason this incident had headed down the wrong tracks at top speed.
Now I was just plain hacked off! I finished a pile of paper work, then emailed the teacher's department chair with my frustration! The frustration spiraled as I dealt with kids with drugs that afternoon. When my principal returned from his meeting I explained the incident and he was able to convince the teacher the benefits of allowing this student to make up his work... ugly meeting averted.
If we want kids to give us 100%, then as adults we must be willing to embrace the "spirit of the law." When a child feels that nothing they do is good enough they become frustrated and lash out to those around them. By the time these kids get to high school they are ticking time bombs... push the right button and they go "Kaboom"! Adults pick your battles, kids will be kids. Making mistakes is how they learn and grow. Some discipline is healthy for growth, others are simply done by adults to release their anger.
You can probably remember a few times you failed the "letter of the law" ... so for heaven sakes, cut them some slack already!
I finally walked in the building greeted by Deb who asked are you sure you aren't supposed to meet with counselor and student? I can find no scheduled meeting this morning. I took a deep breath, and thought ahh-- crisis averted. (or so I thought!) About 9:00 a.m. one of our counselors walked in my office, he told me that the meeting I had on the calendar was actually rescheduled for 3:00 pm with a student, angry parent and teacher. The Cliff Note version of the story is the student had missed several days at the beginning of the year for an out of town bereavement and a couple weeks ago he had missed another day because he was staying with friends while his parents were out of town and got locked out of the house. His teacher refused for him to make up missed quiz because of the absences.
I checked the attendance data base, his mother had cleared the absence per personal business in the appropriate amount of time. I scratched my head and thought I should email the teacher. Surely there was more to the story, we have an awesome staff and I have never dealt with a teacher unwilling to help a child in a awkward position. I mean after all, he wasn't hanging out in the wash smoking dope, this situation was truly out of his control.
I emailed the teacher asking for clarification of the problem lest I embarrass us both in the meeting. The only response I received was "He has already missed seven days." OK... so what bearing does this have on this situation? Shortly after she appeared in my door stating, "we have a policy and I intend to follow it." I looked up now angry, and said "This is the first time in my career I do not think I can support a teacher in a meeting." She huffed! "Well, if I am not getting supported by administration, I can't attend the meeting this afternoon." I shook my head, "I am glad that when I am on the freeway and I glad the police don't enforce the letter of the law"! She stomped out. I told her she could speak to the Principal about attending the meeting.
I have always supported teachers in meetings... we may have a heart to heart afterwards, but this time was different. I could not in good conscious tell this parent that her child did something wrong. We have always prized our school as "kid friendly" and for some reason this incident had headed down the wrong tracks at top speed.
Now I was just plain hacked off! I finished a pile of paper work, then emailed the teacher's department chair with my frustration! The frustration spiraled as I dealt with kids with drugs that afternoon. When my principal returned from his meeting I explained the incident and he was able to convince the teacher the benefits of allowing this student to make up his work... ugly meeting averted.
If we want kids to give us 100%, then as adults we must be willing to embrace the "spirit of the law." When a child feels that nothing they do is good enough they become frustrated and lash out to those around them. By the time these kids get to high school they are ticking time bombs... push the right button and they go "Kaboom"! Adults pick your battles, kids will be kids. Making mistakes is how they learn and grow. Some discipline is healthy for growth, others are simply done by adults to release their anger.
You can probably remember a few times you failed the "letter of the law" ... so for heaven sakes, cut them some slack already!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
10-17-08 - FREAKY FRIDAY!
Friday's are typically my favorite day of the week... folks seem to have a spring in their step thinking of the possibilities of the weekend to come. Sure schools get a little nutty, but I just remind myself that it is job security! Today I awoke and realized that this would not be "the happiest day of the week" and just rolled over when the alarm sounded. Since about the age of 13 I have suffered with acute angiodema... when triggered I look like a good bridal candidate for the Elephant Man. This time with all the smoke and gunk in the air, my allergies caused my upper lip to swell up which resembled a botox job gone really bad. I called the office to explain my plight and that would be in as soon as the meds kicked in.
Finally about 9:30 I was able to get out of the house with only a small bump over my lip. Realizing that Debbie would not be there, I sighed in disgust wondering what joys the children had in store for me today. My secretary, Debbie, had been off now for two weeks with personal business and no one had been dealing with my "bellows." I rushed to the building knowing there was an Assistant Principal's meeting which started an hour ago. My boss looked at me and resisted the temptation for another "Elephant Man" joke instead told me that we had two police officers were on campus because "there were rumors of a school shooting today." Immediately I knew the source. Yesterday a young man (known for his melodrama) rushed into my office and said he had overheard "some kids wearing black saying... yeah I'm gonna shoot him." He of course shared this with everyone he knew and caused mass hysteria among our parents. He could not tell me "who" said this or "identify" them from a picture book so I notified the police department and crossed my fingers it was just some smart mouth kid spurting his frustration. Of course our "melodrama king's" friends told their parents and the school phone rang all morning.
We searched every nook and cranny during lunch supervision when my colleague received a radio call from her secretary that a young man was in the office and needed to speak to her. We met the young man and he informed us that his girlfriend has just seen a kid that had been "mad dogging him" with a knife tucked in his pants. We immediately found the student in our lowest level of English Language Learners... we had much difficulty communicating with him but managed to get him out of the classroom and searched him on the spot. I radioed for the police officers to join us, but they could not find the weapon on him either. We escorted the young man office and managed to trace the description of another young man that he said showed him a knife earlier in the day.
Of course this young man had PE that period and was somewhere in the mass of hundreds of kids outside participating in activities. My principal searched his locker and I went on the trek to find him. I asked several kids where he was, and later found him with a group of kids huddled around him asking "What did you do"? Of course it is never a good thing for an assistant principal to come looking for you.
We escorted him back to the office and when I asked him why people said he had a knife, he replied I do. I asked him where it was located and he pulled it from the top of his boxer shorts and handed it to me. It was quite the sight... about a four and half inch locking blade. I asked him why he brought a knife to school and he replied, "Some friends told me that freshmen get beat up, so I brought it for protection." I asked him if anyone was harassing him and he replied, "no." I then asked him if it was OK for students to bring knifes to school in the Philippians, and he replied "NO" and looked at me as if I was stupid. I then asked him why then did he think it was OK to bring it to school in the US... he started crying.
I then attempted to explain to him that he was suspended, would be cited by the police and because of the nature of the offense he could not return to school until we attended an expulsion hearing. He then asked me if it was OK for him to go to his next period class because he had a test. This time I sat there with a look of bewilderment on my face, this young man had no idea how deep he was at the moment.
His parents were mortified as we sent him home. It simply breaks my heart to make phone calls that I know is going to devastate a family. It was now 2:30 pm and I made an attempt to sneak out the front door for fast food since I had not eaten all day... when a radio call came. The original two young men were facing off in the hallway. We had them escorted to the office for some good ole mediation... or basically "Knock it off or your Mama can pick you up at the Police Station"! The boys shook hands and left in peace.
I sighed a deep breath when our lead campus supervisor reminded me that we had football in a couple hours and my plants needed watering. The football game didn't get any better, chasing off local druggies, kids throwing food that almost ended in blows, and my all time favorite the 30 something drunks that were cuffed and taken to the ground before they opted to leave the premises... IS IT SATURDAY YET?
Finally about 9:30 I was able to get out of the house with only a small bump over my lip. Realizing that Debbie would not be there, I sighed in disgust wondering what joys the children had in store for me today. My secretary, Debbie, had been off now for two weeks with personal business and no one had been dealing with my "bellows." I rushed to the building knowing there was an Assistant Principal's meeting which started an hour ago. My boss looked at me and resisted the temptation for another "Elephant Man" joke instead told me that we had two police officers were on campus because "there were rumors of a school shooting today." Immediately I knew the source. Yesterday a young man (known for his melodrama) rushed into my office and said he had overheard "some kids wearing black saying... yeah I'm gonna shoot him." He of course shared this with everyone he knew and caused mass hysteria among our parents. He could not tell me "who" said this or "identify" them from a picture book so I notified the police department and crossed my fingers it was just some smart mouth kid spurting his frustration. Of course our "melodrama king's" friends told their parents and the school phone rang all morning.
We searched every nook and cranny during lunch supervision when my colleague received a radio call from her secretary that a young man was in the office and needed to speak to her. We met the young man and he informed us that his girlfriend has just seen a kid that had been "mad dogging him" with a knife tucked in his pants. We immediately found the student in our lowest level of English Language Learners... we had much difficulty communicating with him but managed to get him out of the classroom and searched him on the spot. I radioed for the police officers to join us, but they could not find the weapon on him either. We escorted the young man office and managed to trace the description of another young man that he said showed him a knife earlier in the day.
Of course this young man had PE that period and was somewhere in the mass of hundreds of kids outside participating in activities. My principal searched his locker and I went on the trek to find him. I asked several kids where he was, and later found him with a group of kids huddled around him asking "What did you do"? Of course it is never a good thing for an assistant principal to come looking for you.
We escorted him back to the office and when I asked him why people said he had a knife, he replied I do. I asked him where it was located and he pulled it from the top of his boxer shorts and handed it to me. It was quite the sight... about a four and half inch locking blade. I asked him why he brought a knife to school and he replied, "Some friends told me that freshmen get beat up, so I brought it for protection." I asked him if anyone was harassing him and he replied, "no." I then asked him if it was OK for students to bring knifes to school in the Philippians, and he replied "NO" and looked at me as if I was stupid. I then asked him why then did he think it was OK to bring it to school in the US... he started crying.
I then attempted to explain to him that he was suspended, would be cited by the police and because of the nature of the offense he could not return to school until we attended an expulsion hearing. He then asked me if it was OK for him to go to his next period class because he had a test. This time I sat there with a look of bewilderment on my face, this young man had no idea how deep he was at the moment.
His parents were mortified as we sent him home. It simply breaks my heart to make phone calls that I know is going to devastate a family. It was now 2:30 pm and I made an attempt to sneak out the front door for fast food since I had not eaten all day... when a radio call came. The original two young men were facing off in the hallway. We had them escorted to the office for some good ole mediation... or basically "Knock it off or your Mama can pick you up at the Police Station"! The boys shook hands and left in peace.
I sighed a deep breath when our lead campus supervisor reminded me that we had football in a couple hours and my plants needed watering. The football game didn't get any better, chasing off local druggies, kids throwing food that almost ended in blows, and my all time favorite the 30 something drunks that were cuffed and taken to the ground before they opted to leave the premises... IS IT SATURDAY YET?
Monday, October 13, 2008
10-13-08 - Fire Days
Some folks call them "snow days," when I lived in Dallas we called them "ice days." Rural areas in the South often have "rain days." In California, we call them "fire days." These are the days when school officials gather around the TV to see if Mother Nature is going to heap her wrath on mankind and leave the kids cheering with the possibility of the cancellation of school for a few days.
When I moved to California seven years ago I was introduced to this anomaly. The dry heat of Santa Ana winds coupled with no humidity makes the perfect setting for raging wild fires... in most cases, they are assisted by local "fire bugs." During my first fire I found myself glued to the TV amazed at the total devastation that accompanied these raging fire storms. Luckily Southern California is home to the best trained fire fighters and police officers in the world and they approach them with the skill and precession of a surgeon.
Monday was a fire day. We began school with the howling winds and the anxiety that any moment we could get word of fires and evacuations. About 10:00 a.m. our fears came true. We constantly monitored the air, as we have a directive from county officials that when the air quality gets bad all outside activities are cancelled. At first the wind appeared to blow away from us and our football staff held their breath with the hopes they might practice before Fridays big game. Unfortunately that was not the case.
There is just something about the warm howling winds and the smell of fire in the air that seems to bring out the worst in all of us. The fires seemed to be contained on the other side of the hill, so we opted not to close school. However, all day we were extinguishing the "social fires" that had been raging from the stress. We thought that all was calm, until a radio call came immediately after the final bell sounded that two young men were fighting in the middle of campus.
I rushed outside to find a Caucasian young man yelling "Yeah I said it, He's a F--king Ni--er." The stress of the day had certainly brought the worst out in Denver. A few weeks ago I had a discussion with Denver about his brother's ties to the white power gang and how he was trying to break away for a fresh start. So much for that lofty idea.
I escorted him to my office, reminding him to breathe deeply along the way. Of course I heard all the male prowess of how he "knocked him out" and I tried to contain my deep desire to "knock him out" too. Denver was out of control. I managed to get him to my office where he managed to explain that a group of African American young men had approached him about saying the "N-word" to someone years ago.
My colleagues had escorted the other half of this fire day drama to the office. When I opened the door Robert was explaining how he had approached Denver about calling a young lady the "N-word" in their math class when he got upset and started challenging him to fight. Now knowing Denver this sounded a bit more truthful... he has always had a short fuse and he was still flapping around my office like a bottle rocket on steroids.
After taking many statements we finally put the final piece of the puzzle together. It seems that both the young lady and Denver had a long history, dating back to middle school of calling each other racist names. For some reason this generation thinks that if you put an "a" on the end of a very ugly word it makes it OK. I questioned Denver if calling him a "Cracka" makes it any less nasty simply because they changed an "er" with an "a"?? He admitted no, and I suspended him for five days.
We then turned our attention to Robert to had led the vigilante charge. I asked him since when was he hired to do my job. Given that I grew up in the Deep South, I have seen this sort of "ugly" all of my life and I probably have a smaller threshold for dealing with it... I have seen what it can do to schools and communities first handed. We then informed Robert that he was also suspended for five days.
The lesson here is how do we stop this "Ugly"? For some reason racist names have now become terms of endearment (if you are of the same race.) When someone from another race uses that same name it then becomes vial. I have seen kids of ALL races fall into this fallacy. Ugly is just Ugly no matter what its skin color happens to be... for heaven sakes, let's teach our kids better words to insult their neighbors and friends like, skinny, bow legs, four eyes, or fatty and leave the racist names alone!!!
When I moved to California seven years ago I was introduced to this anomaly. The dry heat of Santa Ana winds coupled with no humidity makes the perfect setting for raging wild fires... in most cases, they are assisted by local "fire bugs." During my first fire I found myself glued to the TV amazed at the total devastation that accompanied these raging fire storms. Luckily Southern California is home to the best trained fire fighters and police officers in the world and they approach them with the skill and precession of a surgeon.
Monday was a fire day. We began school with the howling winds and the anxiety that any moment we could get word of fires and evacuations. About 10:00 a.m. our fears came true. We constantly monitored the air, as we have a directive from county officials that when the air quality gets bad all outside activities are cancelled. At first the wind appeared to blow away from us and our football staff held their breath with the hopes they might practice before Fridays big game. Unfortunately that was not the case.
There is just something about the warm howling winds and the smell of fire in the air that seems to bring out the worst in all of us. The fires seemed to be contained on the other side of the hill, so we opted not to close school. However, all day we were extinguishing the "social fires" that had been raging from the stress. We thought that all was calm, until a radio call came immediately after the final bell sounded that two young men were fighting in the middle of campus.
I rushed outside to find a Caucasian young man yelling "Yeah I said it, He's a F--king Ni--er." The stress of the day had certainly brought the worst out in Denver. A few weeks ago I had a discussion with Denver about his brother's ties to the white power gang and how he was trying to break away for a fresh start. So much for that lofty idea.
I escorted him to my office, reminding him to breathe deeply along the way. Of course I heard all the male prowess of how he "knocked him out" and I tried to contain my deep desire to "knock him out" too. Denver was out of control. I managed to get him to my office where he managed to explain that a group of African American young men had approached him about saying the "N-word" to someone years ago.
My colleagues had escorted the other half of this fire day drama to the office. When I opened the door Robert was explaining how he had approached Denver about calling a young lady the "N-word" in their math class when he got upset and started challenging him to fight. Now knowing Denver this sounded a bit more truthful... he has always had a short fuse and he was still flapping around my office like a bottle rocket on steroids.
After taking many statements we finally put the final piece of the puzzle together. It seems that both the young lady and Denver had a long history, dating back to middle school of calling each other racist names. For some reason this generation thinks that if you put an "a" on the end of a very ugly word it makes it OK. I questioned Denver if calling him a "Cracka" makes it any less nasty simply because they changed an "er" with an "a"?? He admitted no, and I suspended him for five days.
We then turned our attention to Robert to had led the vigilante charge. I asked him since when was he hired to do my job. Given that I grew up in the Deep South, I have seen this sort of "ugly" all of my life and I probably have a smaller threshold for dealing with it... I have seen what it can do to schools and communities first handed. We then informed Robert that he was also suspended for five days.
The lesson here is how do we stop this "Ugly"? For some reason racist names have now become terms of endearment (if you are of the same race.) When someone from another race uses that same name it then becomes vial. I have seen kids of ALL races fall into this fallacy. Ugly is just Ugly no matter what its skin color happens to be... for heaven sakes, let's teach our kids better words to insult their neighbors and friends like, skinny, bow legs, four eyes, or fatty and leave the racist names alone!!!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
10-7-08 -- Do Over!
Since I first met Julius, an entire section of my head has turned a vibrant shade of white. Julius is now 17 years old and I should have insisted that he be transferred to the alternative school years ago. He is now at least an entire year behind in credits, has been dragged to truancy hearings more times than I can remember and this coupled with his substance abuse I am now on a first name basis with his probation officer.
In my quest to rid our high school of any appearance of gang activity, he has been a prime target for three years. I have "encouraged" almost all of his friends to seek their education elsewhere... some via expulsion hearings, but for some reason this kid stole a chunk of what is left of my now jaded heart.
Now Julius stands about six foot four, quite imposing to those around him. He is stout for his age and would be perfectly suited for a defensive lineman on the football team if he could ever manage grade eligibility. He moved to our school from another district where his "uncles" are up to their wazoo in local gang activity. Julius has been in juvenile hall about four times, last year wore an ankle monitoring device to school just a few months before he almost died from a stab wound inflicted as a result of his "family doings."
As "scary" as this "gangster" may seem to anyone on the street, I have had no problem telling him to get his butt in my office and if he didn't straighten up I would rip his ears off and feed them to my Shih Tzus. He knew I would do it too.
To our amazement this school year Julius totally reinvented himself to become the model student. While visiting classrooms the first day of the school year, my principal and I were totally speechless when we entered a chemistry classroom and saw him sitting in the front row with his chemistry book open ready to learn!
We also heard stories of the health teacher going from classroom to classroom asking teachers to step in and see who he had taken on as his student aide. Julius had approached him the first day of school, apologized for the daily discipline referrals and offered his assistance. I even noticed he was not dressing in his normal "colors" and actually avoided all the beginning of the year "Homie drama." This kid had renewed my faith in this generation and I had high hopes for his future and his ability to actually "get away from his family."
Until today... I had just returned from a doctors appointment. I won't go into details, but let just say if I ever see another latex glove I think I will be too soon! I walked into school and realized that I had entered a war zone. I shook my head, thinking to myself how quickly things change in public high schools. I had left the place in peace!
My first eye contact was with Julius who was seated outside my colleagues office breathing heavy and red eyed. I blurted, "What did you do"? when my colleague summoned me into her office. She reported that a teacher had stepped outside his classroom to find Julius and friends in a cloud of marijuana smoke. Administration was summoned and the boys were quite belligerent on the way to the office. In an attempt to calm Julius, she tapped him on the arm only to send him into a rage... he swung his arms back and when she flinched he said "Yeah, that is what I thought." She told me she thought he was going to hit her.
I swung open the door and repeated the phrase he has heard many times before ... "Julius get your butt in here... NOW"! He was quite upset and kept saying, she kept poking me! I told her not to poke me! I calmed him down and took him to my office. Almost immediately he began sobbing. He had been working for so long to get his act together, and in a matter of moments he was now facing juvenile hall again. Did I mention that none of the boys were in the possession of drugs or paraphernalia.
I had to fight the tears myself... for now four years I have watched this kid fight his background, pay for his bad decisions both physically and emotionally and now there was literally nothing I could do! I made a lame attempt to speak to him about anger management and explain to him due to his size when he acted in anger it startled people... with great size comes great responsibility. (Being vertically challenged myself I have never faced this dilemma)
I left him sobbing, returned to my colleague still a bit shaken from in the incident and now in the company of law enforcement. I can count on one hand the times I have asked the police to go easy with a student, but I was willing to eat a bug to keep this kid out of the Hall. He had come too far to lose it all now!
Being compassionate by nature, my colleague requested to speak to him again. He tried his best to swallow his tears, but once again he began sobbing... she praised him for his good work, but was firm with the discipline. He was cited by the police, but not with a felony threat against a government (school) official as they have in the past. This is an ugly place, Julius needed to be taught this behavior is not acceptable, if we did nothing he would surely repeat it, possibly outside the "safe" school zone. On the other hand, throwing him back in juvenile hall would only crush his attempts of reform.
Today I spoke to his probation officer in my office... we both know how hard this kid has worked, but now his fate will rest in the hands of the courts. It breaks my heart that most kids just don't understand that just a moment of stupidity can drastically alter their life. Some end up in prison, pregnant, hospital or even dead as a result of only one poor decision. Making them understand the stakes of this game called LIFE is truly a challenge and one that the adults in their lives should not take lightly. As a child I remember playing games and yelling "do over." This was one of those times my heart ached to yell that redeeming phrase, unfortunately we don't always have that option.
In my quest to rid our high school of any appearance of gang activity, he has been a prime target for three years. I have "encouraged" almost all of his friends to seek their education elsewhere... some via expulsion hearings, but for some reason this kid stole a chunk of what is left of my now jaded heart.
Now Julius stands about six foot four, quite imposing to those around him. He is stout for his age and would be perfectly suited for a defensive lineman on the football team if he could ever manage grade eligibility. He moved to our school from another district where his "uncles" are up to their wazoo in local gang activity. Julius has been in juvenile hall about four times, last year wore an ankle monitoring device to school just a few months before he almost died from a stab wound inflicted as a result of his "family doings."
As "scary" as this "gangster" may seem to anyone on the street, I have had no problem telling him to get his butt in my office and if he didn't straighten up I would rip his ears off and feed them to my Shih Tzus. He knew I would do it too.
To our amazement this school year Julius totally reinvented himself to become the model student. While visiting classrooms the first day of the school year, my principal and I were totally speechless when we entered a chemistry classroom and saw him sitting in the front row with his chemistry book open ready to learn!
We also heard stories of the health teacher going from classroom to classroom asking teachers to step in and see who he had taken on as his student aide. Julius had approached him the first day of school, apologized for the daily discipline referrals and offered his assistance. I even noticed he was not dressing in his normal "colors" and actually avoided all the beginning of the year "Homie drama." This kid had renewed my faith in this generation and I had high hopes for his future and his ability to actually "get away from his family."
Until today... I had just returned from a doctors appointment. I won't go into details, but let just say if I ever see another latex glove I think I will be too soon! I walked into school and realized that I had entered a war zone. I shook my head, thinking to myself how quickly things change in public high schools. I had left the place in peace!
My first eye contact was with Julius who was seated outside my colleagues office breathing heavy and red eyed. I blurted, "What did you do"? when my colleague summoned me into her office. She reported that a teacher had stepped outside his classroom to find Julius and friends in a cloud of marijuana smoke. Administration was summoned and the boys were quite belligerent on the way to the office. In an attempt to calm Julius, she tapped him on the arm only to send him into a rage... he swung his arms back and when she flinched he said "Yeah, that is what I thought." She told me she thought he was going to hit her.
I swung open the door and repeated the phrase he has heard many times before ... "Julius get your butt in here... NOW"! He was quite upset and kept saying, she kept poking me! I told her not to poke me! I calmed him down and took him to my office. Almost immediately he began sobbing. He had been working for so long to get his act together, and in a matter of moments he was now facing juvenile hall again. Did I mention that none of the boys were in the possession of drugs or paraphernalia.
I had to fight the tears myself... for now four years I have watched this kid fight his background, pay for his bad decisions both physically and emotionally and now there was literally nothing I could do! I made a lame attempt to speak to him about anger management and explain to him due to his size when he acted in anger it startled people... with great size comes great responsibility. (Being vertically challenged myself I have never faced this dilemma)
I left him sobbing, returned to my colleague still a bit shaken from in the incident and now in the company of law enforcement. I can count on one hand the times I have asked the police to go easy with a student, but I was willing to eat a bug to keep this kid out of the Hall. He had come too far to lose it all now!
Being compassionate by nature, my colleague requested to speak to him again. He tried his best to swallow his tears, but once again he began sobbing... she praised him for his good work, but was firm with the discipline. He was cited by the police, but not with a felony threat against a government (school) official as they have in the past. This is an ugly place, Julius needed to be taught this behavior is not acceptable, if we did nothing he would surely repeat it, possibly outside the "safe" school zone. On the other hand, throwing him back in juvenile hall would only crush his attempts of reform.
Today I spoke to his probation officer in my office... we both know how hard this kid has worked, but now his fate will rest in the hands of the courts. It breaks my heart that most kids just don't understand that just a moment of stupidity can drastically alter their life. Some end up in prison, pregnant, hospital or even dead as a result of only one poor decision. Making them understand the stakes of this game called LIFE is truly a challenge and one that the adults in their lives should not take lightly. As a child I remember playing games and yelling "do over." This was one of those times my heart ached to yell that redeeming phrase, unfortunately we don't always have that option.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
9-26-08 - Some Days Just Stink!
Friday started like any other, unfortunately it ended with a group of hard working professionals questioning their vocation. It didn’t take me long to figure out that I could not find a happy parent in the entire valley!
Due to the large size of our student body, we can no longer accommodate everyone in our gym for pep rallies so instead we hold them in the football stadium so we can accommodate all 2800 students. Before we arrived at this decision, we attempted two pep rallies in the gym and later only let the “spirited” students who chose to participate attend and allow the others to roam campus and complain of their life’s misery. Last we put this to some thought and decided that we were actually promoting a lack of school spirit and opened the stadium to accommodate the crowd. We held the best rallies I had ever personally witnessed and decided to continue the tradition.
This year we celebrated Homecoming early and the Leadership students had worked diligently all week to prepare an awesome tribute to our school and rally the team to victory with a tribute to the 60’s. Everyday during the week we had snips of famous sixties music and everyone seems excited about the upcoming pep rally.
The dismissal bell sounds and we began herding our student population to the stadium. Although a few rogue paper planes flew from the stands, for the most part the students were very well behaved. I found my “special place” on the track perched looking up into the stands to discourage the launch of the next plane when suddenly I received a call that a young man was in the office and refused to come to the rally. I stated what I considered to be the obvious, either do what you are supposed to do or we will call your mother to pick you up for a suspension. The secretary replied, Ms. Castleman, this is Jonas, you spoke to him and his mother this morning. I immediately replied I would be right there and ask the secretary to contact the school nurse.
You see, yesterday and again this morning I was visited by Jonas mother who had just taken her son to the County Mental facility for testing. Jonas told his mother the prior evening that he did not have friends, he wasn’t doing well in school and he no longer wanted to live. The hospital opted not to hold him, but today he was melting down again. I noticed our lead campus supervisor in the cart who had made her way to the stadium to pick me up, so I exited the pep rally (during the National Anthem… which I never do!) and jumped in the cart. About the time, I exited the track I noticed a young man jump over the fence and run along the track in nothing but a speedo and a wrestling mask. Quickly I heard other administrator’s calling for someone to stop him. We quickly turned around the cart and headed east in the direction of the young man. I radioed to the office to keep Jonas, I would be there shortly, unfortunately the secretary called back he had left the office. I quickly radioed for a campus supervisor to stop him and Jonas agreed to go to his locker with the campus supervisor and return to the office.
We continued to look in the wash and behind the berm adjacent to the stadium, but no “masked jumper.” Suddenly the Principal radioed for me to come to the Gym, the masked jumper had injured himself in a fall over the fence and was now in need of medical attention.
I radioed the office again, Jonas was now with the School Nurse, and they were calling his mother and a CIRT team to evaluate his condition. When I arrived at the Gym the masked jumper had now changed from his speedo and wrestling mask and was bleeding a bit from where he scratched himself from the fence and fall onto the track.
At this time, I was HOT! What was this kid thinking? All I could envision was the episode at graduation and all I wanted is to make an example of this kid to avoid any future incidence. The nurse’s office patched him up and I began to question him as to “what he could possibly be thinking”?
We called his mother to pick him up for what I considered to be a reasonable suspension. After all, he had just disrupted an activity with 2800 students. No sooner did his mother pick him up than I received a call from his father, who professes to be an educator at a private school himself. I still have bite marks on my behind from a conversation with this man… How dare you, you have gone over the edge, all my son was trying to do is have some fun… you over stepped your boundary by suspending him.
It took me a moment to regain a sense of reality… was I actually hearing this, are these words coming from an adult? His son had just made a total fool of himself in front of our entire student body, disrupted the pep rally and could have considerably injured himself and he was barking at me? I replied, “Sir I can’t believe I am speaking to a parent, we have 2800 kids on this campus and if all parents had your philosophy we would have mass chaos… if your son can not abide by the rules of this school, perhaps he needs to look for another.” I typically do not speak to parents in the matter, but this man was clearly off his rocker!
About that time, I walk out of my office to find Stan. Stan is special education student who has become a frequent flyer. He was there to debate his consequences from an incident that occurred the previous year that had carried over to this year. He became mouthy with me, after he replied, "I don't care, go ahead and suspend me," and I took him up on his offer.
It didn't take long before he was once again “rescued” by a family member who felt he could not be accountable for his actions. Earlier in the week I had yet another encounter with this family member who was convinced that I was “Out to get Stan” after a nasty phone conversation, Stan’s father called and was very supportive. He stated that he as well, was exhausted dealing with this family member.
Stan and his enabler had “camped” out, beside my door and insisted on meeting with me. When I explained that I had already arranged a meeting with Stan’s father, he became enraged and ended up complaining in the principal’s office.
It seemed there wasn’t a happy soul in our city and they all wanted a piece of us. My boss walked in to check on me, and quickly found the rip in my Teflon coating… a tear began running down my face. Just how much abuse does “Joe Public” expect their school officials to take before we crack? Knowing that I have skin six inches thick, my boss asked the obvious… what is wrong; this stuff normally doesn’t faze you?
Truth is … I am tired, very tired. The lack of accountability in this generation is exhausting! I simply cannot understand why parents will not allow school officials to do their job… or better yet do their jobs as parents! I remember my parents telling me, if you get in trouble at school, you can expect double when you get home. Why is it then that my generation has turned this into “Don’t respect anyone who doesn’t respect you first regardless of their age or authority”! It’s not about what is good for our citizenship any longer, but do what ever YOU want to do, it doesn’t matter how it affects others.
This is one school administrator who is FED UP and ready for a weekend! Hopefully next week will be better.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
9-17-08 -- Kids Don't Care How Much You Know...
Now I always touted the phrase, “Kids don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care”! Folks who are truly “called” into the education business know this intrinsically. It’s easy to remember and a quick way of sharing I’m about “people” and not just “curriculum.” These words have always rolled off my tongue with ease, until they are actually put to the test. After all… that kid that is spouting profanities in the sanctity of my office is surely not due the same measure of “care” as those who arrived in class with textbook and notebooks in hand ready to engage in some meaningful exchange of academic growth.
My church as begun a new study of 40 Days of Love, an on the surface it seems like a harmless enough study. I thought to myself, why not begin this study of relationships with co-workers so we could encourage each other as this job of educating our youth occasionally kicks us in the teeth and we begin to earnestly question ourselves why we chose this vocation in the first place. So, several of us agreed to meet before school hours, lest we get entangled in the separation of church and state debate, to examine how we can become more loving to those around us. But… I have also been warned, be careful what you pray for it because you might just get it.
A goal of our administrative team this year is to “be seen.” Our visionary principal challenged us to not only drop in classrooms, but to roam the campus before school to welcome students and let them know we are there for them. Of course I personally saw this as an opportunity to “nab” those students who were violating dress code, smoking around corners, and violating any school policy… not the “spirit” of the task, but either way a good idea I thought. Until… I actually started saying “Happy Monday” to those sleepy little faces. (I don’t’ think I mentioned this meant setting my alarm a half an hour earlier, and downing at least three cups of black coffee lest I bite anyone in my path!) Although I was the only one to grumble about this exercise in “niceness,” in the beginning, I am finding myself actually enjoying the activity. My colleagues and I scheduled “duty days” and I found myself rushing out to the trusty golf cart to make my morning rounds Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.
Then…along came Tuesday. This Tuesday was my very first truancy meeting (SARB)… our counselors had scheduled the morning with children who began struggling with attendance after the very first week of school… sort of like Jenny Craig and me!!! I am certainly glad Jenny doesn’t impose the same kind of intervention plans that I do! Why is the second week so difficult??? Maybe if my weight maintenance counselor threatened to take me to the police station if I gained weight, I would think twice before I downed that jalapeno popper… after all, now we are legislating student’s diets in public schools, so perhaps this is the next step.
Anyway… Tuesday morning came, I was running late to work, only to get stalled turning into the parking lot by some “overly cautious" parent waiting for a break in the traffic, I honked for them to get out of my way only to find someone was in my parking place, I ran into the office to see an impatient mother was waiting on me, which was followed by Debbie “gently” reminding me that I was running late for my first appointment. I grabbed my favorite; “Don’t Mess with Texas” mug as the Campus Supervisors cleared my path to the coffee machine, lest I mow down any unresponsive child. I felt like the Texas Tornado and was behaving much the same! I welcomed “Impatient Mom” into my office, questioned her as to where was her child, looked her squarely in the eye and asked, “Now just what are you planning to do to do with your daughter”? Tears welled in her eyes from my bluntness… she replied, last night she snuck out of the house, got into a fight, she is now using drugs again and I don’t know what to do. Open mouth… insert foot!
Where was the love? Way to go Pam, way to show this parent we are here to help her and that I genuinely cared for her daughter. Once again I had allowed “life” to get in the way of extending love to my fellow man. Yesterday a counselor remarked, “When the kid needs support I help them, when I need someone to be “tough” I get Pam.” Where is the balance? I spent most of my young adult years working in youth ministry and Christian counseling. When I was in the classroom I taught psychology and sociology… so when did this evolution exactly occur from cream puff to junk yard dog?
As I began to ponder this remark, it led me back to my favorite quote… Kids don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. Some where along my journey of attempting to shape the behavior of our troubled youth, I lost the “loving” part of myself. Although I am still a firm believer that our youth needs clearly defined boundaries, teenagers also know intrinsically if you are “For Real” or not. Yes, it is frustrating to deal with the lack of respect and empathy that permeates this generation, but when those of us who have been “called” to rescue them from themselves fall in the line battle, all “love” is lost.
Our greatest weapon in this war is “love” itself. In other words, if you don’t love kids, find another profession. For the most part, these kids have been told they are worthless from birth and the last thing they need is for someone to kick them when they are down. The “judgment” that often accompanies the trip to the principal’s office needs to be coated in the underlying belief that the child is worth more than they are giving society. Attempting to convince a kid that they are selling themselves short is often more effective than beating them between the eyes with the “You Oughta” stick. Perhaps I will hang up “the stick” and focus on the deep hurts within the child and once again model the Perfect Love that was extended to me.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
9-16-08 -- Just Dump Me In Headfirst!
I did not want to get out of bed this morning! The alarm sounded and outside my window hung a gray haze of a Marine fog that taunted every muscle in my body to rebel against my brain’s better judgment. When I finally arrived, late and rattled I had an eager mother waiting to discuss her daughter’s last bout with substance abuse and truancy issues. It appeared that she lost control years ago and was looking for a quick fix from the school to salvage what was left of her daughter’s education.
I had scheduled a docket of truancy hearings all morning… it was only the second week of school, but some students actually develop a pattern early in the year. This year, more determined than ever, I challenged them early to turn from their evil ways and actually learn something this year. The second family was no better than the first. The police had already arrested young Jose for his truancy in middle school and given that the first day of school I had to deal with him for stealing a burrito in the cafeteria it appeared history was going to repeat itself. I called probation and found out that this young man had quite the history and a number of alias in the community. After our “discussion” on the first day of school he had stopped attending all together and was now hanging out with the local “gangsters” that were arrested outside our west gate last week. I informed Jose that he was no longer “in little people school” and we would take him to court if his attendance did not improve… I went on to buy him a lock for his locker, PE clothes so he would dress out and then challenged him to “make me go away.”
The truancy hearing ended about noonish and I thought the worst of my day had ended when a man came to the front desk and “DEMANDED” to see his son. Our clerk sent a pass for the student and then realized that the father was NOT on the emergency contact list. She immediately stopped him, but not before his son had appeared in the office. I heard him yell at her and came out to attempt to explain if he provided custody papers we could honor his request, when I found myself toe to toe with him standing between he and his son. He began to swear at me and ask me to do things that were physically impossible! I told the son to go back to class… he demanded he stay; I insisted he go to class lest I call the police department. Luckily for me the son complied. I informed the father that he needed to leave the premises he also complied while cussing me all the way out the door. Normally when a parent is not listed in our records and there is a note “do not release family information” there is an abuse issue and I wasn’t about to expose this young man to more chaos in his life. Later when I called his mother, I found my instincts were correct that his father was violent, was in trouble with the police and was pending a court date.
Debbie walked in my office to harass me about “giving another parent a hard time.” We have experienced more than our share of nutty parents this week… includingthe one that wasted an hour of my life complaining that the school counselor called him to inform him that his daughter was “cutting” herself. After all, couldn’t we just leave her alone, he argued! Debbie and I laughed at the sheer nonsense and I told her, “It is just a matter of time before someone knocks my block off, just do me a favor dig a hole in the back yard and dump me in headfirst!
Despite logic, there is simply no hesitation in my heart about protecting these knuckleheads who have made a hobby of turning my hair gray! I find this concept true with most school administrators…. these students are OUR kids! Perhaps that is the ultimate test that you are indeed doing what you have been “called” to do in life, when you are willing to do whatever it takes to protect them (it.) Call it stupid, call it brave, but either way just don’t mess with my kids!
Sunday, September 7, 2008
9-5-08 -- Planting Flowers Along the Way
As I sat staring at a blank page, attempting to put into words first full week of school for once found myself speechless. For school officials there are so much anxiety, anticipation, frustration, joy and even a hint excitement I could not adequately come up with the words that fit. As certainly as summer school ends, the new school year begins with a whirlwind… well maybe more like a hurricane!!! It seems that we just wake up one morning to find a tidal wave of teenagers, bright eyed and bushy tailed, holding a U-Haul load of textbooks and the promise of a new day!
Attempting to be good instructional leaders, we pass out textbooks, schedules, lockers, ID cards, etc, a week before school begins. This way any scheduling issues can be resolved prior to the infamous 1st Day of School! Watching “our kids” (all 2800 of them) return excited from their summer activities is truly mesmerizing. I might add I am also still in awe how our counseling staff manages to design schedules for all these children complete with special program requirements!
The first day finally arrives with a sense of “hope” for all of us. Countless discipline office “frequent flyers” stop by to apologize for their behavior and promise… this year will be different! I attempt to bury my cynical side and become their greatest cheerleader… after all, that is why I entered this profession in the first place! My “ministry” to these struggling souls is what gets me out of the bed in the morning hanging on to the hope that indeed this year will be different for them.
The first bell rang and I found myself pointing a plethora of mortified freshmen to the correct building, lest any rogue senior prey on their innocence. Five minutes after the bell sounded the campus was calm and ready to begin a new chapter in the lives of our youth. My principal, who has been boasting his theme of “Shine in 09” walked into my office and said… “Let’s start things off on a positive note… I’m going to walk through classrooms if you want to join me.” I gladly hopped out of my chair to witnesschildren in school, on time, with books and supplies, listening to the teachers who were engaging, interested, motivated, and using recently purchased technology. We had just found out we met our API/AYP goals and all was well! Ah… if every day could be like the 1st Day of School.
Unfortunately, that 2nd Day always arrives with a whirlwind of chaos to disrupt our peaceful launch … this year complete with a parent who was blaming a teacher because her son did not pass his summer school class therefore could not play football, a mob of athletic parents who demanded the coach be fired, a group of gangsters arrested by the police for attempting to recruit new members after school, dress code violators, a girl fight after school complete with pit bulls, and a teacher who lost control during an act of student defiance and called the student an inappropriate name.
At the end of the day, I longed for my comfy chair and my puppy kisses waiting at the door. I guess in a way school organizations are much like my Shih Tzus … we put in good things, and then out comes the poop. (no pun intended) What we choose to do with that poop is the true test of learning. If they roll in it, they get stinky and gross, if we ignore it, then it becomes a greater issue (fine), or we can scoop it and dispose of it properly. There are even folks who make fertilizer out of it and watch things grow! I guess it all depends on how dedicated you are to your work! My prayer for the year, is that I will scoop with humility and plant lots of flowers along the way!
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