This is the educators get out of bed every morning...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42E2fAWM6rA&NR=1
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
7-17-09 - Damn It!
I grew up in a very conservative household and as a teenager my mother always drilled in my head that curse words were used by "trashy people" and she did not want them to come out of my mouth. I must say as an adult her words have always stuck in my head and I try to refrain from using profanities. I also might add, I wish parents today would "drill" this idea into this generation as they use explicatives so much they don't even realize what they are saying or a need to apologise.
I qualify this because, I can not find better words to describe this week than "Damn It." I have been an Assistant Principal at my current high school for eight years. I must say I have become quite comfortable in my position, sort of like getting the chair all worn out just so your bum fits in it just right. This was my first administrative job and I would have probably been very comfortable if it had been my last. I have an amazing boss who last let me conduct an experiment in school improvement and we have been seeing some incredible results. We started with the alignment of curriculum which has lead to departmental benchmarks, and eventually data analysis and collaboration among our faculty. Although a bumpy ride at times it has made our school leaner and aided more scientific approach to instruction. Each year we have been seeing a marked improvement in our test scores and API/AYP (state and national methods of measuring school success.)
Monday of this week, my boss called me to "meet him in his office in five minutes." OK... honestly I was a bit irritated since this has been my first summer off in four years I had just started to relax. He quickly got off the phone, as I rushed out of the door I thought ... he is probably excited that the new test scores can in and can't wait until August to share them. I bopped in his office and with one sentence he literally imploded my entire world... "You have been transferred." What? You're joking right... you have pestered me joking about this for years, this can't be true. I started looking on his desk for the test data... Nada. He looked up with watery eyes and said... "I'm not joking." I stood there for a couple seconds trying to process it all and suddenly waves of tears flowed down my face.
I closed his door and sat down and asked the obvious question... Why? I have always pushed the envelope and been considered a "Maverick" so my next question was "What did I do wrong"? He reassured me that the school across town was going into an accreditation year with 14 new teachers and they simply needed an experienced AP with a background in data and curriculum. As tears rolled down my face, how could this be? Doesn't the district office know that I love the people at this school? I didn't want to go the the other end of town because "no one is happy"!!! They do things very differently than we do, the teachers don't like data, there is no dress code, they have a different approach to discipline... there is no way this will work out. For the first time in seven years my boss got up and hugged me without screaming like a little girl... and I walked out of that office numb and angry.
So... I did what I always do when my world falls apart, I drive. And I drove, and drove, and drove some more... next thing I know I was about 100 miles north of our city. I tried to make sense of it all... this is NOT FAIR! I am the AP with the most seniority, I am building programs, I have just put together the best security team in the district, I we are showing real gains in our school improvement, DEBBIE!!! Oh my gosh... Debbie. My beloved secretary had been at my side for eight years, she had dried tears, listened to my ranting, been my best friend and even helped paint my office... how am I going to tell Debbie? What worse than that... How am I going to survive without her? I didn't want her to find out through the grapevine, so I broke CA state law and called her while I was driving. Heck the worst they could do is throw me in jail which sounded more fun than going to "the other school." I managed to tell her without totally sobbing, but it was one of the worst things I have ever had to do. With our classified staff unionized it is not as if I could just take her with me.
I finally stopped crying and decided to turn the car around and face my demons. The deed had been done, and there wasn't a darn thing I could do about it. It was getting late and I had not eaten all day, so I stopped off at a Chick Fillet (my favorite fast food) and ordered a special and a peach shake... after all I "deserved that shake." As I pulled away I layered the visor which had been shielding my teary eyes from the sun with whip cream and cherry stain, then suddenly I squeezed the middle of the cup too hard and I found myself in the middle of a peach volcano. There was milkshake all down the front of my t-shirt, on the steering wheel, on the console of my new car. I shouted to the world... DAMN IT!!!
I dried the mess the best I could with the two napkins they gave me and managed to drive home with two sticky fingers. When I arrived home I saw that my gardener had finished rebuilding a brick flower bed that was simply beautiful. I had dreaded taking the time to move the trash cans to the back when I arrived since of course it was "trash day" but found he had done this for me too. As I clicked the garage door opener tears welled up again as I got sappy over of my gardener's thoughtfulness. I was about to make a run in the house when I looked up and he (my gardener) pulled up behind me. He was proud of his job, and all I could do is grab him and start crying!! He works at our high school in grounds so he knew the depth of my love for the place. He did his best to console me, but he had to think I was nuts because I was standing there sobbing with milkshake stains covering the front of my t-shirt.
Since I was in no shape to "go to bank." I agreed to pay him the following day and went inside. Still crying I grabbed not a wash cloth or a hand towel, but a bath towel and sat down at my computer to proclaim "my wrong" on Facebook. In hindsight this was probably the best way to handle it as it allowed me to "pull off the bandaid quickly." In a matter of moments I had multiple comments and I just sat in my chair numb reading them, holding my bath towel sobbing uncontrollably. As funny as it sounds now, I felt as if I was grieving the loss of a family member. After all, I was literally ripped up from everyone I love and placed in a black hole and I was NOT happy about it.
The phone began to ring, and I could not stop crying to return the calls, so I took the chickens way out and simply texted back... "in cave, talk later." Those who know me well, knew exactly what I meant. Literally I have grieved for a week when memories of words spoken by mother rang in my head, "It's time to pull your self up by your boot-straps and get over it." This week I am been seeking the Lord's direction and spending much time in prayer as I know that God has a Purpose for my life and this is ultimately part of His divine plan.
Now as I unpeel this onion... "they don't like data," "they don't like change," "they handle discipline differently," "they have crummy offices," "no one is happy there," "parents are too demanding" "they don't like administration," I must admit the words DAMN IT, still roll off my lips.... of course my pastor, Rick Warren, has now started "tweeting" and when I say those words, invariably my phone beeps (notice of one of his Tweets has been posted) as if he is smacking me upside the head. There is a higher Purpose in all this nonsense... and I foresee many more blogs as I seek the Truth in it all.
I qualify this because, I can not find better words to describe this week than "Damn It." I have been an Assistant Principal at my current high school for eight years. I must say I have become quite comfortable in my position, sort of like getting the chair all worn out just so your bum fits in it just right. This was my first administrative job and I would have probably been very comfortable if it had been my last. I have an amazing boss who last let me conduct an experiment in school improvement and we have been seeing some incredible results. We started with the alignment of curriculum which has lead to departmental benchmarks, and eventually data analysis and collaboration among our faculty. Although a bumpy ride at times it has made our school leaner and aided more scientific approach to instruction. Each year we have been seeing a marked improvement in our test scores and API/AYP (state and national methods of measuring school success.)
Monday of this week, my boss called me to "meet him in his office in five minutes." OK... honestly I was a bit irritated since this has been my first summer off in four years I had just started to relax. He quickly got off the phone, as I rushed out of the door I thought ... he is probably excited that the new test scores can in and can't wait until August to share them. I bopped in his office and with one sentence he literally imploded my entire world... "You have been transferred." What? You're joking right... you have pestered me joking about this for years, this can't be true. I started looking on his desk for the test data... Nada. He looked up with watery eyes and said... "I'm not joking." I stood there for a couple seconds trying to process it all and suddenly waves of tears flowed down my face.
I closed his door and sat down and asked the obvious question... Why? I have always pushed the envelope and been considered a "Maverick" so my next question was "What did I do wrong"? He reassured me that the school across town was going into an accreditation year with 14 new teachers and they simply needed an experienced AP with a background in data and curriculum. As tears rolled down my face, how could this be? Doesn't the district office know that I love the people at this school? I didn't want to go the the other end of town because "no one is happy"!!! They do things very differently than we do, the teachers don't like data, there is no dress code, they have a different approach to discipline... there is no way this will work out. For the first time in seven years my boss got up and hugged me without screaming like a little girl... and I walked out of that office numb and angry.
So... I did what I always do when my world falls apart, I drive. And I drove, and drove, and drove some more... next thing I know I was about 100 miles north of our city. I tried to make sense of it all... this is NOT FAIR! I am the AP with the most seniority, I am building programs, I have just put together the best security team in the district, I we are showing real gains in our school improvement, DEBBIE!!! Oh my gosh... Debbie. My beloved secretary had been at my side for eight years, she had dried tears, listened to my ranting, been my best friend and even helped paint my office... how am I going to tell Debbie? What worse than that... How am I going to survive without her? I didn't want her to find out through the grapevine, so I broke CA state law and called her while I was driving. Heck the worst they could do is throw me in jail which sounded more fun than going to "the other school." I managed to tell her without totally sobbing, but it was one of the worst things I have ever had to do. With our classified staff unionized it is not as if I could just take her with me.
I finally stopped crying and decided to turn the car around and face my demons. The deed had been done, and there wasn't a darn thing I could do about it. It was getting late and I had not eaten all day, so I stopped off at a Chick Fillet (my favorite fast food) and ordered a special and a peach shake... after all I "deserved that shake." As I pulled away I layered the visor which had been shielding my teary eyes from the sun with whip cream and cherry stain, then suddenly I squeezed the middle of the cup too hard and I found myself in the middle of a peach volcano. There was milkshake all down the front of my t-shirt, on the steering wheel, on the console of my new car. I shouted to the world... DAMN IT!!!
I dried the mess the best I could with the two napkins they gave me and managed to drive home with two sticky fingers. When I arrived home I saw that my gardener had finished rebuilding a brick flower bed that was simply beautiful. I had dreaded taking the time to move the trash cans to the back when I arrived since of course it was "trash day" but found he had done this for me too. As I clicked the garage door opener tears welled up again as I got sappy over of my gardener's thoughtfulness. I was about to make a run in the house when I looked up and he (my gardener) pulled up behind me. He was proud of his job, and all I could do is grab him and start crying!! He works at our high school in grounds so he knew the depth of my love for the place. He did his best to console me, but he had to think I was nuts because I was standing there sobbing with milkshake stains covering the front of my t-shirt.
Since I was in no shape to "go to bank." I agreed to pay him the following day and went inside. Still crying I grabbed not a wash cloth or a hand towel, but a bath towel and sat down at my computer to proclaim "my wrong" on Facebook. In hindsight this was probably the best way to handle it as it allowed me to "pull off the bandaid quickly." In a matter of moments I had multiple comments and I just sat in my chair numb reading them, holding my bath towel sobbing uncontrollably. As funny as it sounds now, I felt as if I was grieving the loss of a family member. After all, I was literally ripped up from everyone I love and placed in a black hole and I was NOT happy about it.
The phone began to ring, and I could not stop crying to return the calls, so I took the chickens way out and simply texted back... "in cave, talk later." Those who know me well, knew exactly what I meant. Literally I have grieved for a week when memories of words spoken by mother rang in my head, "It's time to pull your self up by your boot-straps and get over it." This week I am been seeking the Lord's direction and spending much time in prayer as I know that God has a Purpose for my life and this is ultimately part of His divine plan.
Now as I unpeel this onion... "they don't like data," "they don't like change," "they handle discipline differently," "they have crummy offices," "no one is happy there," "parents are too demanding" "they don't like administration," I must admit the words DAMN IT, still roll off my lips.... of course my pastor, Rick Warren, has now started "tweeting" and when I say those words, invariably my phone beeps (notice of one of his Tweets has been posted) as if he is smacking me upside the head. There is a higher Purpose in all this nonsense... and I foresee many more blogs as I seek the Truth in it all.
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