9-29-08 - Do you believe in me?

Ok... I needed this one!

http://www.dallasisd.org/keynote.htm

9-26-08 - Some Days Just Stink!

Friday started like any other, unfortunately it ended with a group of hard working professionals questioning their vocation.  It didn’t take me long to figure out that I could not find a happy parent in the entire valley! 

 

Due to the large size of our student body, we can no longer accommodate everyone in our gym for pep rallies so instead we hold them in the football stadium so we can accommodate all 2800 students.  Before we arrived at this decision, we attempted two pep rallies in the gym and later only let the “spirited” students who chose to participate attend and allow the others to roam campus and complain of their life’s misery.  Last we put this to some thought and decided that we were actually promoting a lack of school spirit and opened the stadium to accommodate the crowd.  We held the best rallies I had ever personally witnessed and decided to continue the tradition.

 

This year we celebrated Homecoming early and the Leadership students had worked diligently all week to prepare an awesome tribute to our school and rally the team to victory with a tribute to the 60’s.  Everyday during the week we had snips of famous sixties music and everyone seems excited about the upcoming pep rally.

 

The dismissal bell sounds and we began herding our student population to the stadium.  Although a few rogue paper planes flew from the stands, for the most part the students were very well behaved.   I found my “special place” on the track perched looking up into the stands to discourage the launch of the next plane when suddenly I received a call that a young man was in the office and refused to come to the rally.  I stated what I considered to be the obvious, either do what you are supposed to do or we will call your mother to pick you up for a suspension.  The secretary replied, Ms. Castleman, this is Jonas, you spoke to him and his mother this morning.  I immediately replied I would be right there and ask the secretary to contact the school nurse.

 

You see, yesterday and again this morning I was visited by Jonas mother who had just taken her son to the County Mental facility for testing.  Jonas told his mother the prior evening that he did not have friends, he wasn’t doing well in school and he no longer wanted to live.    The hospital opted not to hold him, but today he was melting down again.  I noticed our lead campus supervisor in the cart who had made her way to the stadium to pick me up, so I exited the pep rally (during the National Anthem… which I never do!) and jumped in the cart.  About the time, I exited the track I noticed a young man jump over the fence and run along the track in nothing but a speedo and a wrestling mask.  Quickly I heard other administrator’s calling for someone to stop him.  We quickly turned around the cart and headed east in the direction of the young man.  I radioed to the office to keep Jonas, I would be there shortly, unfortunately the secretary called back he had left the office.  I quickly radioed for a campus supervisor to stop him and Jonas agreed to go to his locker with the campus supervisor and return to the office. 

 

We continued to look in the wash and behind the berm adjacent to the stadium, but no “masked jumper.”  Suddenly the Principal radioed for me to come to the Gym, the masked jumper had injured himself in a fall over the fence and was now in need of medical attention.

 

I radioed the office again, Jonas was now with the School Nurse, and they were calling his mother and a CIRT team to evaluate his condition.  When I arrived at the Gym the masked jumper had now changed from his speedo and wrestling mask and was bleeding a bit from where he scratched himself from the fence and fall onto the track. 

 

At this time, I was HOT!  What was this kid thinking?  All I could envision was the episode at graduation and all I wanted is to make an example of this kid to avoid any future incidence.  The nurse’s office patched him up and I began to question him as to “what he could possibly be thinking”? 

 

We called his mother to pick him up for what I considered to be a reasonable suspension.  After all, he had just disrupted an activity with 2800 students.  No sooner did his mother pick him up than I received a call from his father, who professes to be an educator at a private school himself.  I still have bite marks on my behind from a conversation with this man… How dare you, you have gone over the edge, all my son was trying to do is have some fun… you over stepped your boundary by suspending him. 

 

It took me a moment to regain a sense of reality… was I actually hearing this, are these words coming from an adult?  His son had just made a total fool of himself in front of our entire student body, disrupted the pep rally and could have considerably injured himself and he was barking at me?  I replied, “Sir I can’t believe I am speaking to a parent, we have 2800 kids on this campus and if all parents had your philosophy we would have mass chaos… if your son can not abide by the rules of this school, perhaps he needs to look for another.”  I typically do not speak to parents in the matter, but this man was clearly off his rocker!

 

About that time, I walk out of my office to find Stan.  Stan is special education student who has become a frequent flyer.  He was there to debate his consequences from an incident that occurred the previous year that had carried over to this year.  He became mouthy with me, after he replied, "I don't care, go ahead and suspend me," and I took him up on his offer. 

 

It didn't take long before he was once again “rescued” by a family member who felt he could not be accountable for his actions.  Earlier in the week I had yet another encounter with this family member who was convinced that I was “Out to get Stan” after a nasty phone conversation, Stan’s father called and was very supportive.  He stated that he as well, was exhausted dealing with this family member.  

 

Stan and his enabler had “camped” out, beside my door and insisted on meeting with me.  When I explained that I had already arranged a meeting with Stan’s father, he became enraged and ended up complaining in the principal’s office.

 

It seemed there wasn’t a happy soul in our city and they all wanted a piece of us.  My boss walked in to check on me, and quickly found the rip in my Teflon coating… a tear began running down my face.  Just how much abuse does “Joe Public” expect their school officials to take before we crack?   Knowing that I have skin six inches thick, my boss asked the obvious… what is wrong; this stuff normally doesn’t faze you?

 

Truth is … I am tired, very tired.  The lack of accountability in this generation is exhausting!  I simply cannot understand why parents will not allow school officials to do their job… or better yet do their jobs as parents!  I remember my parents telling me, if you get in trouble at school, you can expect double when you get home.  Why is it then that my generation has turned this into “Don’t respect anyone who doesn’t respect you first regardless of their age or authority”!   It’s not about what is good for our citizenship any longer, but do what ever YOU want to do, it doesn’t matter how it affects others.

 

This is one school administrator who is FED UP and ready for a weekend!   Hopefully next week will be better.

 

9-17-08 -- Kids Don't Care How Much You Know...

Now I always touted the phrase, “Kids don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care”!  Folks who are truly “called” into the education business know this intrinsically.  It’s easy to remember and a quick way of sharing I’m about “people” and not just “curriculum.”   These words have always rolled off my tongue with ease, until they are actually put to the test.  After all… that kid that is spouting profanities in the sanctity of my office is surely not due the same measure of “care” as those who arrived in class with textbook and notebooks in hand ready to engage in some meaningful exchange of academic growth.

 

My church as begun a new study of 40 Days of Love, an on the surface it seems like a harmless enough study.  I thought to myself, why not begin this study of relationships with co-workers so we could encourage each other as this job of educating our youth occasionally kicks us in the teeth and we begin to earnestly question ourselves why we chose this vocation in the first place.  So, several of us agreed to meet before school hours, lest we get entangled in the separation of church and state debate, to examine how we can become more loving to those around us.  But… I have also been warned, be careful what you pray for it because you might just get it. 

 

A goal of our administrative team this year is to “be seen.”  Our visionary principal challenged us to not only drop in classrooms, but to roam the campus before school to welcome students and let them know we are there for them.  Of course I personally saw this as an opportunity to “nab” those students who were violating dress code, smoking around corners, and violating any school policy… not the “spirit” of the task, but either way a good idea I thought.  Until… I actually started saying “Happy Monday” to those sleepy little faces.  (I don’t’ think I mentioned this meant setting my alarm a half an hour earlier, and downing at least three cups of black coffee lest I bite anyone in my path!)  Although I was the only one to grumble about this exercise in “niceness,” in the beginning, I am finding myself actually enjoying the activity.  My colleagues and I scheduled “duty days” and I found myself rushing out to the trusty golf cart to make my morning rounds Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.

 

Then…along came Tuesday.  This Tuesday was my very first truancy meeting (SARB)… our counselors had scheduled the morning with children who began struggling with attendance after the very first week of school… sort of like Jenny Craig and me!!!  I am certainly glad Jenny doesn’t impose the same kind of intervention plans that I do!  Why is the second week so difficult???   Maybe if my weight maintenance counselor threatened to take me to the police station if I gained weight,  I would think twice before I downed that jalapeno popper… after all, now we are legislating student’s diets in public schools, so perhaps this is the next step.  

 

Anyway… Tuesday morning came, I was running late to work, only to get stalled turning into the parking lot by some “overly cautious" parent waiting for a break in the traffic, I honked for them to get out of my way only to find someone was in my parking place, I ran into the office to see an impatient mother was waiting on me, which was followed by Debbie “gently” reminding me that I was running late for my first appointment.  I grabbed my favorite; “Don’t Mess with Texas” mug as the Campus Supervisors cleared my path to the coffee machine, lest I mow down any unresponsive child.  I felt like the Texas Tornado and was behaving much the same!   I welcomed “Impatient Mom” into my office, questioned her as to where was her child, looked her squarely in the eye and asked, “Now just what are you planning to do to do with your daughter”?   Tears welled in her eyes from my bluntness… she replied, last night she snuck out of the house, got into a fight, she is now using drugs again and I don’t know what to do.  Open mouth… insert foot! 

 

Where was the love?  Way to go Pam, way to show this parent we are here to help her and that I genuinely cared for her daughter.   Once again I had allowed “life” to get in the way of extending love to my fellow man.  Yesterday a counselor remarked, “When the kid needs support I help them, when I need someone to be “tough” I get Pam.”   Where is the balance?  I spent most of my young adult years working in youth ministry and Christian counseling.  When I was in the classroom I taught psychology and sociology… so when did this evolution exactly occur from cream puff to junk yard dog?

 

As I began to ponder this remark, it led me back to my favorite quote… Kids don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.  Some where along my journey of attempting to shape the behavior of our troubled youth, I lost the “loving” part of myself.  Although I am still a firm believer that our youth needs clearly defined boundaries, teenagers also know intrinsically if you are “For Real” or not.  Yes, it is frustrating to deal with the lack of respect and empathy that permeates this generation, but when those of us who have been “called” to rescue them from themselves fall in the line battle, all “love” is lost. 

 

Our greatest weapon in this war is “love” itself.  In other words, if you don’t love kids, find another profession.  For the most part, these kids have been told they are worthless from birth and the last thing they need is for someone to kick them when they are down.  The “judgment” that often accompanies the trip to the principal’s office needs to be coated in the underlying belief that the child is worth more than they are giving society.  Attempting to convince a kid that they are selling themselves short is often more effective than beating them between the eyes with the “You Oughta” stick.    Perhaps I will hang up “the stick” and focus on the deep hurts within the child and once again model the Perfect Love that was extended to me. 

9-16-08 -- Just Dump Me In Headfirst!

I did not want to get out of bed this morning! The alarm sounded and outside my window hung a gray haze of a Marine fog that taunted every muscle in my body to rebel against my brain’s better judgment.   When I finally arrived, late and rattled I had an eager mother waiting to discuss her daughter’s last bout with substance abuse and truancy issues.  It appeared that she lost control years ago and was looking for a quick fix from the school to salvage what was left of her daughter’s education.

 

I had scheduled a docket of truancy hearings all morning… it was only the second week of school, but some students actually develop a pattern early in the year.  This year, more determined than ever, I challenged them early to turn from their evil ways and actually learn something this year.   The second family was no better than the first.  The police had already arrested young Jose for his truancy in middle school and given that the first day of school I had to deal with him for stealing a burrito in the cafeteria it appeared history was going to repeat itself.  I called probation and found out that this young man had quite the history and a number of alias in the community.  After our “discussion” on the first day of school he had stopped attending all together and was now hanging out with the local “gangsters” that were arrested outside our west gate last week.  I informed Jose that he was no longer “in little people school” and we would take him to court if his attendance did not improve… I went on to buy him a lock for his locker, PE clothes so he would dress out and then challenged him to “make me go away.” 

 

The truancy hearing ended about noonish and I thought the worst of my day had ended when a man came to the front desk and “DEMANDED” to see his son.  Our clerk sent a pass for the student and then realized that the father was NOT on the emergency contact list.   She immediately stopped him, but not before his son had appeared in the office.  I heard him yell at her and came out to attempt to explain if he provided custody papers we could honor his request, when I found myself toe to toe with him standing between he and his son.  He began to swear at me and ask me to do things that were physically impossible! I told the son to go back to class… he demanded he stay; I insisted he go to class lest I call the police department.   Luckily for me the son complied. I informed the father that he needed to leave the premises he also complied while cussing me all the way out the door.  Normally when a parent is not listed in our records and there is a note “do not release family information” there is an abuse issue and I wasn’t about to expose this young man to more chaos in his life.  Later when I called his mother, I found my instincts were correct that his father was violent, was in trouble with the police and was pending a court date.

 

Debbie walked in my office to harass me about “giving another parent a hard time.”  We have experienced more than our share of nutty parents this week… includingthe one that wasted an hour of my life complaining that the school counselor called him to inform him that his daughter was “cutting” herself.  After all, couldn’t we just leave her alone, he argued!  Debbie and I laughed at the sheer nonsense and I told her, “It is just a matter of time before someone knocks my block off, just do me a favor dig a hole in the back yard and dump me in headfirst! 

 

Despite logic, there is simply no hesitation in my heart about protecting these knuckleheads who have made a hobby of turning my hair gray!  I find this concept true with most school administrators…. these students are OUR kids!  Perhaps that is the ultimate test that you are indeed doing what you have been “called” to do in life, when you are willing to do whatever it takes to protect them (it.)  Call it stupid, call it brave, but either way just don’t mess with my kids!

 

 

9-5-08 -- Planting Flowers Along the Way

As I sat staring at a blank page, attempting to put into words first full week of school for once found myself speechless.  For school officials there are so much anxiety, anticipation, frustration, joy and even a hint excitement I could not adequately come up with the words that fit.  As certainly as summer school ends, the new school year begins with a whirlwind… well maybe more like a hurricane!!!   It seems that we just wake up one morning to find a tidal wave of teenagers, bright eyed and bushy tailed, holding a U-Haul load of textbooks and the promise of a new day!

 

Attempting to be good instructional leaders, we pass out textbooks, schedules, lockers, ID cards, etc, a week before school begins.  This way any scheduling issues can be resolved prior to the infamous 1st Day of School!  Watching “our kids” (all 2800 of them) return excited from their summer activities is truly mesmerizing.  I might add I am also still in awe how our counseling staff manages to design schedules for all these children complete with special program requirements!  

 

The first day finally arrives with a sense of “hope” for all of us.  Countless  discipline office “frequent flyers” stop by to apologize for their behavior and promise… this year will be different!   I attempt to bury my cynical side and become their greatest cheerleader… after all, that is why I entered this profession in the first place!  My “ministry” to these struggling souls is what gets me out of the bed in the morning hanging on to the hope that indeed this year will be different for them.

 

The first bell rang and I found myself pointing a plethora of mortified freshmen to the correct building, lest any rogue senior prey on their innocence.   Five minutes after the bell sounded the campus was calm and ready to begin a new chapter in the lives of our youth.  My principal, who has been boasting his theme of “Shine in 09” walked into my office and said… “Let’s start things off on a positive note… I’m going to walk through classrooms if you want to join me.”  I gladly hopped out of my chair to witnesschildren in school, on time, with books and supplies, listening to the teachers who were engaging, interested, motivated, and using recently purchased technology.   We had just found out we met our API/AYP goals and all was well!   Ah… if every day could be like the 1st Day of School.

 

Unfortunately, that 2nd Day always arrives with a whirlwind of chaos to disrupt our peaceful launch … this year complete with a parent who was blaming a teacher because her son did not pass his summer school class therefore could not play football, a mob of athletic parents who demanded the coach be fired, a group of gangsters arrested by the police for attempting to recruit new members after school, dress code violators, a girl fight after school complete with pit bulls, and a teacher who lost control during an act of student defiance and called the student an inappropriate name.  

 

At the end of the day, I longed for my comfy chair and my puppy kisses waiting at the door.  I guess in a way school organizations are much like my Shih Tzus  … we put in good things, and then out comes the poop. (no pun intended)  What we choose to do with that poop is the true test of learning.   If they roll in it, they get stinky and gross, if we ignore it, then it becomes a greater issue (fine), or we can scoop it and dispose of it properly.  There are even folks who make fertilizer out of it and watch things grow!   I guess it all depends on how dedicated you are to your work!   My prayer for the year, is that I will scoop with humility and plant lots of flowers along the way!