Ever have one of those days when nothing makes sense? The old saying goes something like the boss yells at you, you yell at your secretary, the secretary goes home and kicks the dog. In my case I go home and prune the ivy!!! If plants could talk, mine would probably say something like “Uh oh… I know that slam, she’s home and we are in deep doo doo”! “Run ivy, I think she has the pruning shears…whew, I think she’s headed around the corner to decapitate the roses… oops no, she’s getting the ladder… what is she doing in the willow tree”? “OUCH!!! Don’t snap so hard”! “I wonder who rattled her cage… I bet it was one of those smart mouthed teenagers, nope I it’s gotta be a man, no way, that kinda pruning has to be directed at her mother!” As I was folding up the ladder I actually caught myself looking at the droopy Hygeranium saying, “If you don’t shape up, you’re next”!
OK… I know I need some serious therapy, but today had been Monday all day long! Summer school is always a joy… this year it has been unusually peaceful with the possible exception of the seventy instructional aides who were hired for the twenty-four special education classrooms. Every day for the past week, one of them has come to the office for a workman’s comp form because of a “job-related” injury. My job is to ensure everyone gets the appropriate paperwork and medical attention lest we get sued. Last week we filled out a form for an aide who made a decision to unload a severely handicapped student from the back of a city bus without the assistance of anyone or a chair lift. She was quite surprised when the student grabbed a hold of her back and they both went tumbling to the ground. She sustained substantial injuries to her knee and legs and was very upset about the whole ordeal.
This morning, I was greeted by yet another aide who failed to inform me of an injury she sustained the previous day. A student she had just finished diapering “head butted” her hand and left bruising. She had gone to the doctor who gave her a restriction of lifting “less than 5 pounds.” How on earth could she do her job with that sort of restriction, I asked my office manager? So… I sent her home for the day until I could clear her with Risk Management.
Just about the time I made peace with myself for knocking this aide out of a days pay, our Assistant Principal walked into my office, closed the door and said, “I need to talk to you.” As I have stated before, closing the door is never a good thing.
He had just gotten a report that a student had made a weapon to bring to school to attack a young man that had pushed his friend at a fast food establishment over the weekend. This student had taken a metal bicycle pump handle and had tied a screwdriver to the end of it to “shank” the kid. Granted I was tempted to offer him physics credit for his MacGyver-like ingenuity but instead we filed a police report and dismissed him from summer school. Before he left I reminded him that he was now dealing with real life… he would not get 500 bonus points for stabbing this kid, but since we were dealing with real blood and organs he would get a one way ticket to juvenile hall.
As soon as I had sent him on his way, a colleague who was hired to give diagnostic information to teachers and students preparing for the California High School Exit Exam walked in and sat down. He shared that he just had a very frustrating conversations with one of our teachers. She invited him into her class to “Explain to her students why they where taking the class if they would not be taking the exam in July." "They would surely forget everything before November.” Now this was frustrating to both of us, because on several different occasions both of us had explained to this teacher that only the Seniors of 06-08 were allowed to take this administration per the State Department of Education. Evidently this information was not adequate for her as she insisted that he personally come to her class to explain, “Why.” This was the cherry on top of the sundae for me. I “marched” to her classroom, requested she step in the hall and privately explained my disappointment with her negative attitude displayed before her students. In no uncertain terms, I “directed” her to go back in the classroom and attempt to fix the damage she had done.
I returned to my office, still huffing and puffing at a teacher who would not educate for the simple benefit of mastery of knowledge, when the secretary walked in the office with a gentleman who looked like Santa’s thin twin brother… he insisted to look in the school’s bike rack to see if a nephew’s stolen bike was there. I shook my head and said, “Sir I can not authorize you to do this, you need to file a report with the police department and they will do an investigation.” He then huffed out himself.
At that moment my colleague, who was still sitting in my office, exhausted from attempting to explain the necessity of educating students to a confused teacher, and I burst out laughing so hard we both teared up. Had the world gone bizerk? I failed to ask this gentleman what exactly would he do if he found the bike. Did he plan to steal it back or merely wait around the corner of the school to pounce on the poor unexpecting kid? For heavens sake!
The day FINALLY ended, and let’s just say I am glad the plants can not talk!
