I rushed out the door, slammed the car door shut, dodged the trash bins carefully arranged on the curb, laid my cell phone on my lap and hit the "speaker phone" button lest I get ticketed by some over zealous cop. On the other end of the phone I heard a comforting voice, Debbie had returned to work and hopefully stability would return to my professional life. In my best Elmer Fudd impression I rattled, "7:40 meeting, I'm late, don't know why meeting." Having eight years experience of understanding my morning gibberish, she replied, "I don't have a contract for a return from suspension, I will check your master calendar to see who you are supposed to meet and hold them until you get here.
I finally walked in the building greeted by Deb who asked are you sure you aren't supposed to meet with counselor and student? I can find no scheduled meeting this morning. I took a deep breath, and thought ahh-- crisis averted. (or so I thought!) About 9:00 a.m. one of our counselors walked in my office, he told me that the meeting I had on the calendar was actually rescheduled for 3:00 pm with a student, angry parent and teacher. The Cliff Note version of the story is the student had missed several days at the beginning of the year for an out of town bereavement and a couple weeks ago he had missed another day because he was staying with friends while his parents were out of town and got locked out of the house. His teacher refused for him to make up missed quiz because of the absences.
I checked the attendance data base, his mother had cleared the absence per personal business in the appropriate amount of time. I scratched my head and thought I should email the teacher. Surely there was more to the story, we have an awesome staff and I have never dealt with a teacher unwilling to help a child in a awkward position. I mean after all, he wasn't hanging out in the wash smoking dope, this situation was truly out of his control.
I emailed the teacher asking for clarification of the problem lest I embarrass us both in the meeting. The only response I received was "He has already missed seven days." OK... so what bearing does this have on this situation? Shortly after she appeared in my door stating, "we have a policy and I intend to follow it." I looked up now angry, and said "This is the first time in my career I do not think I can support a teacher in a meeting." She huffed! "Well, if I am not getting supported by administration, I can't attend the meeting this afternoon." I shook my head, "I am glad that when I am on the freeway and I glad the police don't enforce the letter of the law"! She stomped out. I told her she could speak to the Principal about attending the meeting.
I have always supported teachers in meetings... we may have a heart to heart afterwards, but this time was different. I could not in good conscious tell this parent that her child did something wrong. We have always prized our school as "kid friendly" and for some reason this incident had headed down the wrong tracks at top speed.
Now I was just plain hacked off! I finished a pile of paper work, then emailed the teacher's department chair with my frustration! The frustration spiraled as I dealt with kids with drugs that afternoon. When my principal returned from his meeting I explained the incident and he was able to convince the teacher the benefits of allowing this student to make up his work... ugly meeting averted.
If we want kids to give us 100%, then as adults we must be willing to embrace the "spirit of the law." When a child feels that nothing they do is good enough they become frustrated and lash out to those around them. By the time these kids get to high school they are ticking time bombs... push the right button and they go "Kaboom"! Adults pick your battles, kids will be kids. Making mistakes is how they learn and grow. Some discipline is healthy for growth, others are simply done by adults to release their anger.
You can probably remember a few times you failed the "letter of the law" ... so for heaven sakes, cut them some slack already!
