I sit here on the last day of Spring Break reflecting if I have spent my time wisely. As I age, I begin to see more and more the value of each minute on this planet. I have tried to pack my week with family, friends, work, chores, and a whole lotta nonsense. Although I never enough quality time with any of these, I have the feeling of satisfaction of a job well done!
My Uncle Clayton has always been a role model to me. Clayton, my father's youngest brother is the prankster of the family. I always admired my uncle, who always had an innate ability to balance his career (first as a school administrator and later County Judge) and his family. He has never lost sight of his roots and his rural upbringing. Although very different from my immediate family, (I am an only child) my Dad's family consisted of four brothers and a sister. It was always a treat to me to spend time with my large extended family of uncles, aunts, and many cousins. The Castleman family reunions are always filled with practical jokes, deep belly laughs and much love.
It was simply my delight when Clayton approached during the Christmas break with the suggestion of a surprise 70th birthday party for my Dad. The past few months I have the time of my life planning this event with my Uncle, my beloved Aunt Carolyn and cousin, Amanda (Aka Stinkerbelle.) From early morning calls planning the menu to the text messages about the special cake made for very special family memories for me. I often worried as a child, being an "only" how I would care for my parents as they age. I have been pleasantly surprised how my Dad now 70, and my sassy little Mother have been running circles around me! Attempting to facilitate that "role reversal" I find great joy in stuffing their Christmas stocking, sending them special gifts and planning special trips for them...a poor attempt to repay the spoil I received as a child.
During spring break I was able to play the Easter Bunny and leave chocolate bunnies (Mom's was sugar free) for them before Easter services. These two people have invested so much love in my life it brings joy to my heart to surprise them. My Dad has always been my hero, the knight in shining armor who was able to battle any dragon in my path and save his little princess. My Mother has always been my coach! She was never one to coddle me, but would kick me in the butt and send me back in the game! Making many sacrifices of her own, she fiercely defended me yet wasn't afraid to damaging my self-esteem to shape me into a strong independent woman! (This one attribute is greatly lacking in parenting today) She knew the meaning of "No" and wasn't afraid to use it. It was most difficult to conceal my Spring Break surprise from my Mother. You just don't put one over on Shirley!!
I flew into DFW (my airport of choice) late Friday evening... rented a car (NEVER ask for " an intermediate" it lacked a functioning radio and cruise control and the change oil light flashed the entire trip!) I stayed at the Omni Hotel (my favorite) and called my Mother and LIED! Pretending to know about the weather in California, I laid in the bed in Dallas Texas attempting not the spill the beans! All went as planned, I was able to get up and drive to southwest Arkansas (after a short shopping excursion in Texarkana.) I called and texted Amanda all the way. She has texted me a photo of the cake that she transported from her home four hours away... and make numerous threats of sticking her nappy fingers in the icing!
I arrived at my Aunt and Uncles home just in time. My Dad was in line to fill his plate with labours of Clayton and Carolyn's love, when I snuck up behind him for a BIG hug! Surrounded by about fifty of his family members, buddies from the mill, and church family he gave me a BIG grin that told me he was truly surprised. (Talking about your Kodak moments!!)
I spent a couple of days with my parents... then flew back home to uncrate 70 boxes of STAR exams that would manipulate my life for the next three weeks. Sitting on the plane as I reflected, I wished all children had the relationship with their parents that I have enjoyed. In my office I see too many shattered families. Many of them broken unintentionally due to a lack of time spent together and a genuine ability to communicate with each other. This summer I will be planning a 50th wedding anniversary for my parents. Trust me, if I have learned anything from those two people it is the ability to communicate! Although very different individuals they spoke their mind and worked out all of life's little issues which has kept them together for 50 years!
Parents... take time to communicate with your kids and your spouse. Kids love your parents... one day the tables will turn and it will be your opportunity to care for them. Get to know them, love them, learn what they love and what they despise. Parents slow down and let your kids get to know the "real" you. Don't be afraid to be the parent. I advised one father before break... to be the parent or suffer the consequences. When boundaries are not clear, children get confused and make stupid decisions. Love your children unconditionally, but tell them when they mess up and impose your values. This is not always a pleasant task. but a necessary one.
My sincere prayer is that families will slow down, communicate and grow together to strengthen those young characters that you are entrusted to build. God Bless.
