This morning I attended a five hour conference on school finance... almost a much fun as a root canal! I routinely complain to Debbie (or anyone who will listen) about the "trained monkeys" who are in charge of school funding and the absurd decisions that are made in the name of public education.
It was now 1 pm, I had just walked back in the office certain that my brain was about to explode if I was forced to think about one more categorial fund, when Debbie walked in and sat down. I know my life is about to get interesting when she sits down and looks me squarely in the face. "YOUR KIDS HAVE GONE CRAZY" she exclaimed! At school we define "my kids" as those students who have the last name beginning with the letter "H" through "P." Afraid to ask her what exactly she meant by "crazy" I offered her french fries that I had picked up on my way back to the office hoping she would forget the madness and let me off the hook. She declined the greasy heart attack and continued... Matt is ditching again, his probation officer was here this morning and this stack (about a foot high) are things found in his locker that were tagged, and after checking out of school three weeks ago, Juan, a habitual truant, came back on campus and stole I-Pods today, Justin hid the band director's music and now he wants to kick him out of band, and one of the Gangska Little Girls is threatening a girl because her boyfriend, Juan, got in trouble with the I-Pods. At that very moment, one of my retired male campus supervisors marched in the office... he had been "feuding" with another retired male campus supervisor and it had come to the point of reckoning... any one see the movie, "Grumpy Old Men" ? I sat there with my chin perched on my fist and calmly asked "Is it a full moon"?
In my previous life as a retail manager, I remember "full moons" seem to bring out allthe crazies. Public education is no different... it just seems like somebody flipped the "stupid" switch and they all come rushing out of the wood work! Why do folks make "stupid" decisions? And why... can't I finish my spicy chicken sandwich before I have to deal with them?
About then, my co-assistnt principal, walked in... she had been dealing with my angels all morning. She told me Debra was sitting in the front waiting for her. I asked her if I could do the honors when I noticed Debra had painted her eyebrows to look like an upside down "v" again. Around here, this a a sign that a girl is a "gangster." I had promised a suspension to Debra in a parent meeting if I noticed them drawn that way again! I escorted her to the nurse's office and made her wash them off! WHY DIDN'T HER MOTHER DO THIS BEFORE SCHOOL? I reminded her that we don't have "GANGSTAS" at Royal High and sent her on an early vacation... maybe she will use the time wisely and buy me a Christmas gift??? Debbie seemed quite amused when I told her I suspended her for her eyebrows... I know there must be an ed code for that one!
I walked back to my office in hopes of calling Matt's probation officer when I noticed Diego in the other office. Diego is the young man that became quite incorrigible with me at the FULL SARB (truancy meeting) last week. He was ready to go with round two.. and like a sucker I played right into his madness. My colleague ended up suspending him because of his gross disrespect to me and everyone else in his path. The irony of it all is when she asked him what he wanted to do after he finished high school he replied... I'm going to be a Marine! I know it was rude, but I couldn't help but laugh out loud. Evidently this young man has never watched Gomer Pyle reruns... Sergeant Carter would love this one!
My day ended at Starbucks with our wonderful Staff Development Team... when I am totally convinced that the world is on it's way to hell in a hand-basket, this group of professionals affirm why I get up and face this insanity every morning. They remind me that I deal with less than 5% of our kids while they are actually educating the other 95% in nurturing classrooms everyday. Thank heavens for teachers... for they are the reason this insane world will continue to survive despite the full moons.
