“Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to right… here I am stuck in the middle with you”! That particular song has served me well the past couple weeks. It is the most dreaded time of year… standardized testing began today. Now merely “starting” this endeavor doesn’t “just happen.” It has taken Debbie and I two solid weeks to set those darn testing bins for 114 teachers. Because of the unique way we split Algebra and Geometry, we had to verify EACH student’s math class before we could label the exam for proctors. And… as if my already frazzled nerves were not tense enough, the trained monkeys at the state as well as a few of our own mistakes, screwed up the order this year. Almost daily for two weeks we were requesting additional exams that were initially shipped incorrectly.
Now I have settled into my position as assessment coordinator fairly well for seven years, but for some reason this year has been more difficult than usual. I don’t know if it was the addition of a new Braille student who need a modified exam at the last minute or the fact that the state shipped us only two of the three audio versions of the exams we needed, but it seems like everybody’s needs were being met except my own. I have requested a formal complaint be lodged with the State Department of Education for the number of exams we have going… ALL AT THE SAME TIME! This week we administer the STAR exam, next Monday we give the APRENDA to the Spanish-speaking students who have been in the country less than 12 months (that order was not correct either), Tuesday and Wednesday we the CAHSEE to 10th graders who were absent during the March administration, then finally on Thursday and Friday we will give the STAR make-up exams. All of this is going on while Advanced Placement exams are given to students enrolled in AP courses as well as CELDT exams who are given to non-English speakers who are enrolled during the month. Did I mention something about clowns and jokers... there are a few of them in the state capital!??
Last weekend I gladly accepted an invitation to join seven of my girlfriends for a little rest and relaxation in Palm Springs. My friend’s father owns a condo there and it provides the much needed rest and relaxation for us all. Now I mention this, because just two days ago I enjoyed an exciting water volleyball game with the girls (ranging age 42 and up) and thought to myself, PLAY IS MISSING FROM MY LIFE! For some reason I manage to allow all the “clowns” and “jokers” to suck all the life out of me! Thank heavens I have a group of friends who drag my behind off for some fun now and again.
I was relaxed, although a bit sunburned from a wonderful weekend when just in a matter of moments I allowed the “jokers” to get me again. I collected all the bins from teachers, the day went off without a hitch, but when I returned to the office I noticed some “clowns” hanging around outside the door of After School Detention. Our “golden girl” otherwise known as our lead campus supervisor was attempting to shoo the “clowns” away from the door distracting their friends. They were not listening to her, so I walked over myself. I finally got them to leave, when I looked up and one of them was tapping on the window yelling at a friend inside. I “yelled” myself for him to take off, when one of his buddies smirked and yelled “Why are you so angry”? I walked over to the wise crackers and was met with more disrespect. When I asked the “joker” to join me in the office he refused and long story short this resulted in three administrators and a police officer friend who happened by getting sucked into a huge ugly scene in front of the school. I LOST MY TEMPER! I WAS ANGRY! Although I am a bit “plain spoken” I can usually hold my cool, but today I lost it! I yelled at the kid, his friend in the purple pants, who kept yelling that his friend should run from me, and anyone else who would listen! I marched them both in office gave the Saturday Schools and called their mothers. One was supportive but “purple pant's” mother wanted to believe her son. After I hung up for the phone, I could feel my blood pressure throbbing in my eyes and thought to myself… what was I thinking?? Is this job worth all of this nonsense? Why are kids so disrespectful? And… who left them in charge anyway??
When I finally got home I remembered my song… “Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right… here I am stuck in the middle with you.” Whether it happens to be the screwed up testing orders or smart mouth teenage boys somehow we are all “stuck in the middle” surrounded by life’s nonsense. How we choose to deal with the nonsense is entirely up to us. Life is full of “Clowns” and “Jokers” and from time to time they do rattle our cages. The key is making sure that we take enough time to “play” so that we don’t simply shut down. Today I let the “Clowns” get to me… I got extremely angry. As my police officer friend remarked, “You pulled a Texas on them”! Maybe that is what they needed, but allowing the situation to fully control my being was not healthy. Instead of imagining folks in their underwear as public speakers often do, from now on I choose to see my world with painted faces and squeaky red noses!
Stuck In The Middle With You"
(As recorded by Stealers Wheel)
J. EGAN
GERRY RAFFERTY
Well I don't know why I came here tonight
I got the feeling that something ain't right
I'm so scared in case I'll fall off my chair
And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am
Stuck in the middle with you
Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you
And I'm wondering what it is I should do
It's so hard to keep this smile from my face
Losing control yeah, I'm all over the place
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am
Stuck in the middle with you.
Well you started off with nothing
And you're proud that you're a self-made man
And your friends they all come crawling
Slap you on the back and say
Please, please.
Try to make some sense of it all
But I can see it makes no sense at all
Is it cruel to go to sleep on the floor
Yeah I don't think that I can take anymore
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am
Stuck in the middle with you.
And you started off with nothing
And you're proud that you're a self-made man
And your friends they all come crawling
Slap you on the back and say
Please, please.
Yeah I don't know why I came here tonight
I got the feeling that something ain't right
I'm so scared in case I'll fall off my chair
And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am
Stuck in the middle with you
Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you
Stuck in the middle with you
Here I am stuck in the middle with you.
(c) Copyright 1973 by Baby Bun Music Ltd. and Ricochet Music Ltd., London, England.
All rights for U.S.A. and Canada assigned to the Hudson Bay Music Company, 1619
Broadway, New York, N.Y. 10019.
