It had only been two weeks since Judge Roy Bean (The Hanging Judge) had been called out of town for some dubious task. In that short time The Daltons Boys and Billy the Kid had Zorro tied up in the classroom, Captain Crunch had been using apples for bongs in the boys restroom, and Tonto has stolen a master key and was replacing I-Pods with “Silver Bullets” everyone’s locker. The Preacher frantically signaled (via telegraph of course) for someone to find The Hanging Judge to restore order to the land...who was at the time forced by the trained monkeys to arrange countless state assessments for unexpecting children of the town. (Gotcha Jawaha)
OK… so I have an over-inflated sense of importance! But, today it was known throughout the land that the HANGING JUDGE WAS BACK ON THE BENCH! Yesterday I hummed a sober version of “Taps” while tear ran down Debbie’s face as we counted the last testing bin and removed its contents for shipment. OK… I’m lying about that too, but it was nice that the bulk of that darn test was now over. Today I returned to five hundred discipline referrals! (still lying)
Please do not ask me how many outlaws I suspended today, I lost count somewhere around ten (not lying.) It amazes me how in two short weeks children can accumulate six to ten referrals. After shaming them for hours I banished them home with their folks for some additional parental time that obviously didn’t work in the first place!
I really did have an encounter with “Billy the Kid.” Knowing that Billy was one of the most ornery outlaws in the land, yesterday I moved him to a table by himself for California High School Exit Exam make up and even whispered “sweet nothings” in his ear before I left the room in hopes that he might actually finish the exam without it being invalidated due to his bad behavior. My efforts were futile in that a couple hours later I returned to find the empty chair where Billy once sat.
Understanding I would need “deal” with Billy the Kid today, he appeared on the radar in a very peculiar way. I received a visit from his very upset Algebra teacher who was frustrated not only with Billy, but with a colleague who was allowing him to stay in her room every day while he ditched his math class. She was rightly upset about the matter. I launched a series of emails to his case manager (Special Education) his counselor, all his teachers, and the school nurse directing them to send Billy to the appropriate class lest he get a summons from the Hanging Judge.
You see, a couple weeks ago, we had met in an IEP (meeting to evaluate educational services of special education students) and discussed the need for Billy to assume accountability for his behavior so that we might actually educate him. Following the meeting, the counselor shared that Billy has a very hostile home environment. His father is a drunk and Billy has to routinely assist his mother when his Dad is falling around the house. His older brother (who has an entire section of gray hairs in my head dedicated to his honor) is now in treatment for a cocaine addiction, and the only coping skill Billy has is to blow up and cuss everyone out.
Our own Energizer Bunny, who we refer to as School Nurse, took this as her own personal challenge to help this young man get back on track. Ifound this quite amusing given that Billy insists that he is a member of White Power (local Neo-Nazi group of young people) and the school nurse is Jewish… for some reason she looked beyond the ignorance, and had championed his cause. Once again today she went into battle for his success. She contacted all his teachers, played mediator with them all and set up a concrete step by step plan for this young man to return to class… lest the Hanging Judge get to him first!
I couldn’t help but laugh when she explained how she actually got him to sign a form from a local organization (Jewish Family Services) that has been working with the community to help families get back on track. When I asked her how she managed to put aside the “HATE” and love this young man despite his prejudice, she just replied, “This is my test.”
I understood exactly what she meant. "Life Tests” walk in our offices every day. On some subliminal level you can hear the public announcement bulletin… “This is a test, for the next six month your character will be tested as to how you deal with this individual… this is only a test.” In my tenure as a school administrator, I’ve had my faith shaken to its knees and I know a good test when I see one. However, my own personal faith is also attached to Jesus' reply to the Apostle Peter… “If you love me, feed my sheep.” This is my reason for getting out of bed each morning. Every day, we are all met with folks that are in so much pain that any glimmer of hope from us maybe the only incentive they have to continue this crazy rat race. Unfortunately, I forget this at times. Although sending teenagers to the “gallows” is often necessary to help them establish clear boundaries, may I never forget to give them their last meal!
