It was nice to be back in the office after literally weeks of preparing for state assessments. I was tuned and ready to deal with children who forgot to serve a detention or momentarily forgot that the teacher was the “boss” of the classroom. I had successfully removed the pen cap from a young lad’s mouth that thought it was quite funny to make whistling noises in the discipline office and all was good in the world.
Then… in the luxury of my peace, a staff member walked in and reported that a young man had witnessed an older man “handing off” something to one of our female students at a local convenience store a couple blocks from school. He was concerned for her safety and came straight to the office to report it. Of course a number of red flags went off in my head, you know the kind you too often see on the nightly news, so I located her first period class and went to find her.
As I entered the class, students were all engaged in a group math activity. I was concerned that she might “drop” the item, so I quickly asked the teacher to identify her and informed her that she needed to take all of her items to the office with her. Now Sarah was about 15 years old… she was a petite young girl with big doe eyes that welled with tears when I asked her if she had anything in her possession that should not be a school. I followed up with my standard statement… "I usually know the answer before I ask, so you can be honest with me OR I can turn this over to the police and your parents can pick you up at the police station." This method is usually quick and painless; students usually come clean with the thought of the police contacting their parents while they are sitting in a jail cell.
Before we reached the office, Sarah immediately told me that she had a “friend” buy her vodka and it was now in her purse. When I asked her how much she consumed she started crying and said, she couldn’t drink it, because make her sick. As much as I wanted to laugh at her plight, I reminded myself that if a child is paying for hard liquor before school starts, there must be something terribly wrong in her life. I searched her belongings and found a small bottle of cheap vodka with about a cap-full missing. She later explained that she had thrown up the small amount she consumed… I told her that even most adults require lots of fruits and/or sugar to get that stuff down.
When I asked her what was so terrible that she needed to drink before school, she began crying again and told me that she had only been enrolled at our school for a couple months… she had moved in with her dad because her older sister was having trouble and needed to move back in with her mother and they just didn’t get along. She thought she was doing the right thing moving to our town with her dad, but she missed her friends and her dog. She went on to say that when she transferred that our school required more credits to graduate than her previous school (anyone else think we need a standard system nation-wide?) and that she wanted to transfer to our continuation school so she could catch up. She added that her aunt has just passed away and her grandmother was now also dying. It was just more than she could handle and she thought the booze would make her feel better. When I asked about her relationship with her Dad, she said they got along fine, but she had not shared with him how upset she was about the chaos in her life.
Sure enough, when I called Dad he totally shocked by his daughter’s behavior. At first he wanted to blame the school because we had not “helped” his oldest daughter. After a long phone conversation trying to focus him back on the situation at hand, I convinced him that I was indeed concerned about this daughter and I “the school” would do everything I could to help her. I informed him that alcohol on the campus was an automatic five day suspension from school and that I had called the School Resource Officer (police officer) who would probably also cite her for having the vodka on campus. I was very disappointed to hear that his concern was primarily with the embarrassment of the issue, he stated that he worked for the city and knew many police officers and he hoped they could resolve the issue without dragging his name through the mud. Good grief Dad… is there any wonder your daughter doesn’t confide in you?
When the SRO arrived, Sarah and her Dad were sitting on the bench outside my office waiting their fate. I explained the situation to the officer and since Sarah made good grades, had no discipline referrals, and was struggling with family issues I requested that he only do a Field Information card, “FI,” and not arrest her at the request of the school administrator. Since this SRO had worked with me for seven years, his jaw fell to the floor. He looked up at Sarah and said, I can only think of one other time Ms Castleman has requested that I NOT arrest a student… look at the sign hanging over your head. He was referring to my wooden plaque with the phrase,” Don’t Mess with Texas.” He told her, “You must be a very special young lady.”
The truth of the matter is… Sarah was a very special young lady. What this child needed at the moment was someone on her side. Citing this young lady would not solve her dilemma. Heck, she couldn’t even get the vodka down. This was an opportunity to prove to both her (and her dad) that the school was not “the bad guys” and hopefully make a drastic bout face for a college-bound child who had never been in trouble in her life.
My hope for this family is that they will use this time to grow closer and dig deep to give Sarah the love and support that she so obviously needs. Sarah had “fallen on the sword” so that her troubled sister could be with their mother, now this family needs to realize that sometimes the “good kid” needs some attention too!
